January 4th, 2010
Christmas 2009: Highs and Lows
High: We got the kids DS’s for Christmas and I sweardagod, it was the best idea we have ever come up with as parents. Nothing has EVER shut my kids up like these things do…they’re fucking great!
Low: For several days after receiving his DS, Oliver woke us up at 5am asking if he could play with his.
High: This year, I got a gift from my husband that I’ve been wanting for ages now: a digital camera. It’s small and lightweight and it fits in my pocket; it’s exactly what I wanted.
Low: It doesn’t have a flash.
High: For the first time ever, I think, Dave didn’t stick a bottle of cheap Liquidation World-brand body wash in my stocking. It was a Christmas miracle!
Low: Not so fast…he wrapped up a box of knockoff Sham Wow’s and stuck them under the tree for me instead.
High: Thanks to the newly acquired newfound DS’s, the drive to my aunt and uncle’s for our annual family Christmas was FUCKING BRILLIANT – we hardly heard a peep out of our children the entire two and a half hours (those things paid for themselves right then and there in the backseat of the car).
Low: Dave and I have to sleep in the same room as our children when we spend the night at my aunt and uncle’s house. This year I shared a bed with Oliver; I would have gotten a better night’s sleep if I had slept with a goddamn bull.
High: Dave got a $75 gift certificate at Mark’s Work Wearhouse from my dad for Christmas (which I was quite excited about – since I’ve met him, my husband’s signature look has been Sloppy, one I am growing tired of, rapidly).
Low: Whoever sold the gift card to my father didn’t activate it – essentially, my father bought an empty card. And my father doesn’t keep his receipts (a CARDINAL SIN in my opinion; I keep every single receipt for every single Christmas gift I buy until at least March) – well, he sure as hell does now, but…yeah. You see where this is going? You don't get nuthin' without a receipt in this world, so my dad’s out almost a hundred bucks and my husband still looks sloppy.
High: There is, at present, an obscene amount of chocolate in this house: chocolate covered brownies (god, those were good), brownies, a triple chocolate fudge cake, solid milk chocolate, chewy chocolate fudge brownie cookies, Pot of Gold chocolates (finished those yesterday), chocolate Christmas trees with caramel inside (I polished those babies off last night), mint chocolate chip ice cream, chocolate fudge Pop Tarts…it’s deliciously out of control.
Low: My willpower, I’ve discovered, ain’t what it used to be – suddenly, my skinny jeans are feeling a bit snug (oh, who am I kidding? I've never owned a pair of skinny jeans, and let's be honest: I never will. What I'm really trying to say is that I stuffed myself silly with chocolate this Christmas and, in the process, added at least ten pounds to my already rockin' muffin top).
High: This Christmas, for us, was all about enjoying family, reconnecting with friends and rekindling our long-lost romances with Disaronno and Pinot Grigio, respectively. The holidays erred on the social side this year, and it was really fun.
Low: Saying goodbye to a family patriarch – Dave’s (step) grandfather died during the holidays. We ended one decade and started another on a sad note, which wasn’t the way any of us wanted to welcome the yew year.
Gimmie a holiday high/low of your own, eh?
