He told her that he loved her, that he was going to marry her. The night they walked home from the high school dance, hand in hand down the street as the rain fell in cool sheets around them, he said he was going to buy her a ring. He got down on his knees right there on the sidewalk, slid his fingers between hers and told her he’d be with her forever. She laughed, told him to get up and to stop goofing around, but inside her heart was swelling.
True to his word, he appeared a few days later with a gold band tucked inside a small box, dark blue and velvet. With it came a promise: together, forever.
She knew the gesture was impetuous, heady. She’d doubted all along that this, her first relationship, was true love; that this tall, lanky fifteen-year-old blonde was her be all and end all. She hadn’t thought he’d really do it, figured it was the beer talking that night in the rain, and yet the fact that he’d chosen a ring especially for her meant more than she’d expected. Years later she would recognize that moment in her life as the one where she began to realize that after a long time of believing otherwise, she was worthy of being loved.
When he dumped her for the Next Big Thing she reminded herself that she’d known all along he wasn’t the Rest of Her Life, but it crushed her, the rejection; the sting of being discarded for someone newer, someone better. And although she eventually took the small box, dark blue and velvet, to the beach so she could throw the ring in the water and let go for good, she’d kept it for a while first. As a reminder, gleaming golden and perfectly round, that she was worthy of love.
25 Comments, Comment or Ping
*sniff*
Beautifully poignant.
May 26th, 2009
What an idiot.
May 26th, 2009
this is a cool lil’ story lady. is this a recant of a tale of you or am i reading some fiction? either way, i digs it with 9 shovels
May 26th, 2009
Nice.
Now where is he ’cause I wanna kick his ass!
May 26th, 2009
It hurts my heart that we have to decide we are worthy of love. And that often we decide we aren’t..
May 26th, 2009
worthy of being loved. indeed. this was beautiful, lady.
May 26th, 2009
I love this.
May 26th, 2009
oh this brought so much back. so very much.
♥
May 26th, 2009
absolutely gorgeous.
May 27th, 2009
Wham! I am back in the past.
Powerful stuff, MT.
May 27th, 2009
Oh the heart swell, know it well — almost as well the purge. Beautiful.
May 27th, 2009
Beautiful.
I too had a keepsake like that and it was the hardest thing to get rid of.
May 27th, 2009
Still and all, not a bad memory to have of first love.
May 27th, 2009
Just lovely.
May 27th, 2009
How beautiful
May 27th, 2009
i kinda needed that today. i missed being loved so.very.much.
thank you.
May 27th, 2009
Boys are DUMB.
(I’ve missed you so much. I’m sorry I haven’t stopped by more.)
May 27th, 2009
I’m glad she held on to that lesson.
May 28th, 2009
Too bad we all don’t feel that positive about ourselves.
May 28th, 2009
He may of been an idiot for letting you go, but for what it’s worth he gave you something to hope for and believe in…yourself. Thank you for sharing this poignant memory with us. (Hugs)Indigo
May 28th, 2009
I thought I was keeping it for other reasons.
I like this one better.
May 28th, 2009
First love, so much joy and also so much pain…I am so glad you realized that you are worthy of love.
May 28th, 2009
Every one we love, brings us closer to who we are.
:)
May 30th, 2009
The wonder and sting of first love. I really did believe we’d always be together, that our bond would never be broken. I was half-right. We did not stay together, but our bond has never been broken. I haven’t seen him in decades, but we’re still in touch and I still have that ring. When life feels fragile, I put it on in the dark and sleep with it on my finger, a reminder that some people stay even when they leave.
May 30th, 2009
Something so bittersweet about first love.
But it is a rarity that it ever lasts, when it strikes so young. So he probably did you a big favour.
Here I was thinking I was such a romantic, when maybe I’m not.
Beautiful post.
June 5th, 2009
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