Dear Oliver,
Friday, August 1, 2008
You are outside right now, rocking back and forth with your sister and your beloved Tutu, the doll Julia got for Christmas last year that you haven’t put down since. Will you remember her when you’re older? She’s always stark naked and you recently took a marker to her head and really did a number on it (LOOK, MUMMY! I GAVE TUTU A TATTOO!), but my god, do you love that doll. She goes to preschool with you every day and is second only to the giant stuffed Elmo that you spoon every night.
Something tells me you won't soon forget Tutu.
I’m on the sun porch, watching you swing with Julia (and Tutu, of course), and I’m thinking about you: how you’ll be three on Sunday, and how I can’t believe that you’ll be THREE – wasn’t it yesterday that you arrived, all nine pounds of you, in the middle of an insufferable heat wave? Wasn’t it yesterday that the nurse wrapped you up like a little cocoon and placed you in my arms so I could touch my nose to yours and whisper to you, my beautiful brand new boy, Oliver, hello my love, you’re finally here…
It goes without saying that I love you, but is it possible for me to be in love with you? Because most of the time it feels that way. My love for you is endless, boundless; all-encompassing. It comes from every pore, every cell, every part of me; it is a love that, at times, catches me by surprise – its strength, its ferocity, the depth of it…never ceases to amaze me.
It’s constant. You are my constant.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
When I get up you are downstairs in the kitchen, perched on a chair mixing pancake batter with Daddy. I wrap my arms around your small frame and rest my cheek against your head, breathing in your sweet little boy smell (I love the way you smell, Oliver; if I could bottle it up and wear it as perfume, I would).
You pause, briefly letting go of the big mixing spoon to wrap your arms around mine and lean in to me. “Do you know what today is, buddy?” I murmur in your ear.
“What?” With your head still resting against my arm, you reach for the mixing spoon.
“It’s your party,” I say softly. I manage one last squeeze before you unlace your arms from mine and look up at me. You flash me a huge grin; your eyes dance, corners crinkled. “Yeah!” You look excitedly from your father to me. “My party!”
Your father and I smile and exchange a content, yet sentimental glance: our son will be three tomorrow.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
The last of the night’s stragglers have left and the house is finally quiet. It’s late, and I’m tired, but I slip between the cool sheets and snuggle against you. I trace my finger down the line of your arm, and when you roll over and burrow in to my chest I whisper to you. It’s here, your birthday is here; happy birthday my love, and suddenly I am flooded with emotion: love and pride and the importance of this day, this monumental day in my life, in our lives, and as the tears spring up, hot and prickly, you raise your hand and press it against my forearm and rub gently, sleepily.
“I love you so much, Mummy,” you whisper; your hand sliding gently from my arm as you slip back to sleep.
“I love you so much too, Oliver,” I whisper back.
Happy Birthday, my beautiful boy.
35 Comments, Comment or Ping
That was beautiful and brought tears to my eyes.
Happy Birthday, Oliver!!
August 3rd, 2008
Oy this made me cry!
August 3rd, 2008
Sweet, sweet, and sweet. They are still babies but not really. So grown up and in such a short time. And such a lovely age – so kind and caring. And yummy!
August 3rd, 2008
That is absolutely beautiful. And it might just be because I had a drop-down fight with my mom (again) today, but I’m crying like.. well, like a baby.
August 3rd, 2008
Beautiful. Brought tears to my eyes and made me think of my own awe toward my son, Little Man. Your love for Oliver shines through this letter you’ve written to him. I hope some day he reads it and knows how much he’s loved…
Kia
Good Enough Mama
August 3rd, 2008
Dang these leaky eyes. Happy Birthday Oliver.
August 3rd, 2008
You know that all encompassing love thing?
It keeps going… even when they’re pimply and deep voiced and taller than you. That love has a life of its own.
August 3rd, 2008
It blows my mind that there might be another mother out there that feels this way about her boy. And yet you and I still, are not alone.
Happy Birthday Oliver. My three year old boy is now 6. When did that happen?
August 3rd, 2008
Happy Birthday, Oliver!
August 3rd, 2008
Happy Happy, gorgeous boy.
August 3rd, 2008
Three is the best, best, best, best, best age. Everything’s so intense, and they have no concept of time, so I could totally see his face when you told him that today was , in fact, FINALLY, his party.
What a sweet, sweet post. Happy Birthday Oliver!
August 3rd, 2008
Happy Birthday, Sweet Boy! :)
August 3rd, 2008
I licked my children when they were born, like a dog and I could not get enough of their essence. They fill you up right down to the tips of your toes they do.
Happiest of birthdays to your Oliver.
xo
August 3rd, 2008
Beautiful, and so true. Loved this.
August 3rd, 2008
*sniff* Happy birthday, Oliver!!
August 3rd, 2008
What is it about sons? The depth of love for them, and the way they look up at you, is so intense. You captured it beautifully.
Happy Birthday Oliver.
August 3rd, 2008
Happy birthday precious boy!! I hope you guys had an excellent time at the party!!
August 3rd, 2008
Happy Birthday, Oliver!
August 3rd, 2008
Happy Birthday to the love of your life. I have one of those too.
BTW, please write a book, I’ll read it.
August 3rd, 2008
Oh, beautiful, mama. (And happy happy birthday, Oliver, you lucky boy!)
What a nice reminder of how wonderful it is to love them – especially well-timed, since mine has been a bit of a brat the last few days. Apparently, we are in a new testing phase. Whee.
August 3rd, 2008
Happy birthday! And many more to come…
August 3rd, 2008
Happy Birthday, Oliver!!! I hope you have an amazing third year!
August 4th, 2008
oh, happy birthday ollie! i am so sorry i couldn’t come =(
i hope to see you guys soon- but as of now i don’t think jason’s car is gonna make it over the border.
August 4th, 2008
honestly. I don’t need to write my own blog … I have yours.
(of course, I’ll have to switch out ‘tutu’ for ‘gucky’ and ‘elmo’ for ‘other gucky’ …)
August 4th, 2008
Oh, my. I picture myself with my nose buried in the nape of my little boys’ necks. Just. So. Sweet.
August 4th, 2008
That was the most beautiful post I have read in a very long time. You so eloquently put into words what many of us feel.
August 4th, 2008
Happy birthday, Oliver.
August 4th, 2008
Aw! Happy Birthday Oliver! I hope you had a good time at your party.
I didn’t realize Oliver and Emily were so close in age. My due date with Emily was August 3, 2005. She didn’t decided to make her grand entrance until August 11, 2005.
August 4th, 2008
Happy Birthday, big boy Oliver!
I hope it was a fun weekend, filled with tattooed dolls and that missing Cars car that your mother was looking for so long ago.
That was beautiful, mamaT.
August 4th, 2008
What a beautiful post! My daughter’s first birthday has to have been the best day of my life. I couldn’t believe how floored I was by joy and love as I celebrated her first year of life.
August 6th, 2008
Beautiful, K. I can see him reading this someday, when he is grown, and the feeling it will give him. How wonderful for him to have proof of your love and thoughts like this.
:)
August 7th, 2008
That was so beautiful Tulip.
He’s a lucky little man to have you as his mom. May Oliver bring you a lifetime of joy and love.
Happy Birthday little man.
August 8th, 2008
Now I can’t stop sniffling. What a beautiful entry. Happy belated birthday Oliver.
August 9th, 2008
Oh. I want to go upstairs right now and breathe in the scent of my own Oliver.
Happy belated birthday to your big boy.
August 13th, 2008
Beautiful.
I’m sorry I have been so swamped and wasn’t able to come here sooner to give him Birthday wishes.
xo
August 22nd, 2008
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