A long time ago, when the earth was young, Julia took swimming lessons and liked them. But right around the time Oliver was born she slipped as she was getting out of the bathtub and bit down on her tongue, hard enough to pierce it quite nicely; hard enough for it to bleed profusely for several minutes. And as the blood-tinged bathwater slurped down the drain that night, so did my daughter’s love of swimming – what we hoped would be a short-lived fear of water manifested into full-blown terror. Bath time went from fun activity to difficult chore and Julia acted like she was being dipped in acid when we took her for swimming lessons.
The spring before we moved here, she landed a swimming instructor who was aces. While most of the other instructors at our local Y were of the pimply-faced, horndog variety, this teacher was older and far more experienced than her younger counterparts. She was gentle yet assertive, confident and enthusiastic about swimming. Those attributes swelled from her and into her students; for the first time since the bathtub accident, Julia was enjoying the water again.
And then we moved. We didn’t sign her up for summer lessons in our new town, a decision we soon came to regret. Everything she’d learned went up in a cloud of smoke; when we did take the kids swimming Julia clung to us, terrified, and became hysterical within minutes of being in the water.
When I signed the kids up for lessons earlier this summer I looked in to private ones for Julia. For $15 a lesson she’d have half an hour with an instructor who I was assured had dealt with kids who were scared. Though it was costly, I signed her up for eight private lessons at our community pool and grew increasingly frustrated as I watched my daughter completely control the lessons. Her instructor, a tall, lanky guy who was maybe seventeen, appeared quite passive, which Julia immediately recognized and took full advantage of. She refused to do anything he asked her, steering his attention instead to such things as the bad things Oliver had done the previous day and the names of her friends from school.
Finally, after six lessons, she got in the pool with a lifejacket on and floated, on her back and stomach, and put her face in the water to blow bubbles. So what if it was in the wading pool? So what if her idea of ‘swimming’ was really crawling, army-style, through three inches of water? She was IN THE WATER, GODDAMMIT. I stood up and clapped like she’d just swam the fucking English Channel.
Then a few weeks ago, Dave had a total stroke of brilliance and called the nearby university about lessons, which sounded much better than the private ones we were paying through the nose for. So last week, we went to the pool so she could check it out. I was a bit nervous that the size of the pool would scare her (it’s huge), but I focused on the positives: unlike the community pool, this one was indoors and the water was heated. The change rooms would be free of spiders and other insects and that telltale port-a-potty stench. Like they did me, these things excited her, and to my surprise, so did the pool. She wasn’t scared of its size, so I signed her and Oliver up for lessons right then and there.
Their first lesson was this past Monday and before the class started, I briefly outlined her history with the instructor. I told him I knew she had it in her, but she needed some gentle pushing. I steered Oliver toward the benches, sat down and watched as Julia lined up with her class at the edge of the pool. About forty seconds in, Oliver announced that he had to GO POO RIGHT NOW, MUMMY!; as I walked past Julia, her face crumpled and she reached for me.
“I’ll be right back, listen to your teacher,” I called as I breezed by her. Just before I opened the change room door I glanced over my shoulder and saw Julia’s teacher lift her off the wall and in to the pool. She was SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER.
By the time I came back she was floating with a noodle. UNASSISTED. I sat beside Oliver, my jaw planted firmly in my lap, and watched my daughter put her face in the water, blow bubbles, retrieve objects from the bottom (without going under completely, but getting pretty damn close) and float on her own. She was confident, she was learning, and most importantly, she was having FUN. She’s still nervous; there are still things she won’t do in the water, but she’s come a long way in just three lessons.
I’ve nicknamed her instructor The Pool Whisperer. I don’t know what he’s doing, but whatever it is, it’s working, because when her lesson ends my daughter does not want to get out.
And that, my friends, is a first.
50 Comments, Comment or Ping
oh! that’s so awesome!
July 30th, 2008
Way to go, Julia! That is so terrific. Overcoming a fear as significant as that is H-U-G-E at any age, let alone as young as she is. I am so proud of her.
July 30th, 2008
ah. the triumph of it. it’s always those unexpected angels that intervene in ways small to them but gigantic to us.
July 30th, 2008
I’m going to go poo when I get home, the chiropractor aligns more than my spine.
July 30th, 2008
Yay for the pool whisperer.
My daughter loves swimming. To the point of battles when we CAN’T swim.
I’m so proud of your little girl. She’s taking huge steps learning to love the water again.
And YAY you for persevering….You are the Kid Whisperer!
July 30th, 2008
Yay for the Pool Whisperer! I wish you could get your money back from the crappy private lessons. :(
July 30th, 2008
There is nothing better than to witness your child get over a fear and….enjoy it! Good for Julia.
July 30th, 2008
I need a skating whisperer for thomas. $200 later, he screamed for 29 minutes and stood on the ice screaming for 1 min. good times. no refund.
July 30th, 2008
Aww I knew she would like it eventually :)
July 30th, 2008
That’s wonderful. A pool whisperer is priceless. Luckily Honey is a natural pool whisperer and was able to help Princess return to the water after an incident with a not so wonderful swim instructor.
July 30th, 2008
would you send her to middle ga? i could use her magic on one small boy.
July 30th, 2008
Do you think you could FedEx that teacher to Maryland?
*sigh*
July 30th, 2008
i am SO proud of her! that’s amazing!
July 30th, 2008
Good for Julia. She’ll be swimming like a fish before you know it. And good for you and Dave to look for different swimming solutions.
Do you think the pool whisperer makes house calls? We need one here for Mimi.
July 30th, 2008
YAY! That is so great! Way to go, Julia!
It’s amazing that she go so comfortable in the pool in the time it took you to take Oliver to the potty!
July 30th, 2008
That man needs a Pool Whisperer t-shirt. Or maybe his own t.v. show.
July 30th, 2008
Can I borrow The Pool Whisperer?
July 30th, 2008
Sounds like you guys are on to something!!
Last summer the montessori school took the kids EVERYDAY to swimming lessons at the local university. EVERYDAY for 6 weeks. Both kids did so well, and it made me wish we had a membership somewhere with a pool so we could continue it.
This summer I was really bummed that they decided not to do the lessons again (too hard logistically transporting up to 30 kids to and from with only 1 van).
your post has motivated me. I’ll be calling to see if they are offering classes in August and get the kids signed up.
July 30th, 2008
Awesome! Way to go, Julia!
July 30th, 2008
I’ve seen and heard of so many instances where the kid acts like you’re killing them, and then when you leave or ignore them (good example-that first day of kindergarted or preschool) and check in later they’re as happy as a pig in shit. Good on her, and good on you.
July 30th, 2008
That is SO awesome, tulip! Swimming is a really imortant skill, and one I was never really master of because I hate getting my face wet and water up my nose. And good for you for starting early, before the fear normally starts, and then keeping up with looking for ways to get her past it. You are one hell of a mom.
July 30th, 2008
A good kids swimming teacher is gold, I tell you, gold.
Yeah Julia!
July 30th, 2008
nice work, kid!
July 30th, 2008
A good swimming teacher is a lucky, lucky find! So glad Julia has one.
July 30th, 2008
Oh that’s fantastic. This year was the year Supergirl turned into a fish in the pool. It’s amazing to watch her swim like a big kid!
July 30th, 2008
THAT is one amazing kid. And teacher, for that matter.
July 30th, 2008
Hooray!
July 30th, 2008
YAY! That’s awesome! Congratulations to Julia!
Emily is finally old enough to go to swimming lessons all by herself and I canNOT wait. She likes to swim, but thinks she’s afraid. I think not having me (or Grandma) to cling to will be just the thing she needs to master swimming. Now if I can just find lessons that aren’t at night or on Tuesdays and Thursdays…
July 30th, 2008
Yeah for Julia!! And yeah for you mama! The hardest thing is letting go and helping them face their fears! You two did GREAT!
July 30th, 2008
HURRAH for your big girl!
July 30th, 2008
interesting how little kids can spot a spineless swimming instructor from a mile away, huh? we had one of those, too. now we too have a good one. we had a few wrinkles to work out, but we’re doing private lessons at the instructor’s home. not cheap, but in my opinion, worth every penny! glad to hear you found somebody good too!
July 30th, 2008
That instructor is worth her weight. in. gold.
That is terrific news – go Julia! And go you, for catching the fear early and not allowing it to grow out of control.
July 30th, 2008
Wow, you handled that situation really well. I would have been lost as to what to do.
July 30th, 2008
Good for you for taking Oliver for his poop instead of interrupting the screaming. It worked!
July 31st, 2008
the pool whisperer – i love it! there should be an agency full of “whisperers” – the vegetable whisperer, the car seat whisperer, etc etc.
brilliant stuff Julia.
July 31st, 2008
oh wow. amazing.
July 31st, 2008
oh awesome!! i’m so glad to hear it. swimming is the most fun thing ever! i wouldn’t want anyone to miss out =)
July 31st, 2008
How great!!!!
July 31st, 2008
motherhood is fraut with peril isn’t it? you’re an inspiration.
July 31st, 2008
sometimes, you just have to be a forceful stranger to the child in order to get them to work. You have to have a stronger will than the child in question.
Julia obviously used to adore the water and maybe she remembers that somewhere in her subconscious. Here’s hoping she’ll continue to make great strides … the pool is fun!
Congrats! You must be elated!
July 31st, 2008
Well, either Oliver takes a ridiculously long time to poo, or THAT WAS FAST! Yea for pool whisperers and mothers that know when a child needs a gentle push, and finds the perfect pusher!
July 31st, 2008
You know, I always find my kids do much better at that stuff if I “disappear” for a few minutes. Have Olliver go poo every time ;)
July 31st, 2008
Oh my gosh, How great! I was hoping for the happy ending.
July 31st, 2008
rock on Julia.
I love it when kids overcome fears.
July 31st, 2008
And no large bags of candy were to be seen? I’m always in awe of the folks that have “the touch” as opposed to the folks that are just “touched” – like me.
July 31st, 2008
That is super! I know how hard it is for kids to overcome fear of water and knowing that she did it must make you guys really happy & proud!
July 31st, 2008
Can you send one of those pool whisperers our way? We’ve got a coupla kids who could use a little pool whispering…
July 31st, 2008
Congratualations! You have to be relieved! I taught swimming lessons for 11 years. Sometimes it’s just the environment combined with a really good teacher. I’m so glad you found a great one! My daughter will start lessons next year and I’m hoping for a great teacher.
August 1st, 2008
That is awesome! Cheers to Julia (and a sigh of relief for you). Swimming lessons are one of those non-negotiable activities, if only for safety’s sake. It’s so much nicer when kids enjoy them.
August 2nd, 2008
Brilliant – that is great for Julia’s confidence!
August 3rd, 2008
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