Oliver and I have this thing where, every night as I leave his room, I say, “Good night, sausage.”
To which he says, “Good night, hot dog!”
We have this little exchange every night, without fail. And, god forbid, if for some reason I head downstairs without saying “Good night, sausage,” he will stand at the gates stacked in his doorway and shout “GOOD NIGHT, HOT DOG!” until I holler my return up the stairs.
The other night was no exception. I read him two stories, tucked him in, tickled him and kissed him, then started to walk across the room.
“Good night, sausage,” I said, leaning over to pick up the baby gate leaning against the hall wall.
And you know what he said back to me?
“Good night, fuckdog.”
Aw, yeah. Good night, fuckdog. I’m totally going to get that etched on my tombstone.
69 Comments, Comment or Ping
I think you’ve acquired a new nickname…
That Oliver is one of a kind!! Totally hysterical kid!!!
June 4th, 2008
*blink blink* Ah, language acquisition!
June 4th, 2008
So _where_ did Oliver learn that turn of phrase?
:-)
June 4th, 2008
nothin’ but love…
a visit soon puto….i promise…
xxoo
June 4th, 2008
Hmmm, that exchange wouldn’t work in our house where sausages are known as “high fat offal tubes”. Not nearly as cute to call “Goodnight, high fat offal tube!” to your offspring. It is however quite good fun to hear your 8 year old say to his friend who is over for dinner “Do you want chicken nuggets or high fat offal tubes?”
June 4th, 2008
Hee hee. That’s awesome!
June 4th, 2008
ahahhahaha awesome, that is so funny I’m laughing my head off over here.
It’s a thankless job.
June 4th, 2008
OMG!!!! lol…
June 4th, 2008
that’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard. might also make a very nice tattoo.
June 4th, 2008
But he stays in bed once you put him there, right? And once you’re gone, he goes to sleep, right?
I could live with “fuckdog” if my kid did that.
June 4th, 2008
Holy crap on a stick.
June 4th, 2008
Forgive me for laughing at Oliver’s pottymouth.
Although I’d probably do the same right in front of him, blowing any chance he has at learning proper decorum.
June 4th, 2008
OMG.
Even BETTER than “I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK”.
xo CGF
June 4th, 2008
I very nearly choked on my lunch thanks to that post! I love the innocent, heart-warming lead up to the punchline. Caught me totally off guard. Well done!
June 4th, 2008
How do you not pee your pants, fuck dog?
June 4th, 2008
I was SO not expecting that. Soda.On.Computer.Screen.
June 4th, 2008
haha, i love O
June 4th, 2008
gonna go change my underpants now. Laffing THAT hard.
June 4th, 2008
Ksnarflfklb! That is the sound of me trying to dislodge an aspirated french fry. A pointy, crispy one. I can only imagine the conversations you are going to have with Oliver’s kindergarten teacher.
June 4th, 2008
better than the text message I got from my drunk boss one evening.
“hey fucktard!”
June 4th, 2008
OMG dying laughing….that is too funny. Did you laugh out loud?
June 4th, 2008
Heartwarming and make me die laughing all rolled into one post. Love it!
June 4th, 2008
funny. i distinctly remember a similar ritual growing up. only it was something more unoriginal. like just plain old ‘i love you.’. And i remember getting very upset if the exchange didn’t happen. it felt very important.
have i told you how much i love the name oliver? its on our ‘list’.
the list of names for children we have yet to conceive.
June 4th, 2008
he is definitely YOUR son! love it! ;) ahahahah!
June 4th, 2008
ow – coffee out my nose. thanks.
June 4th, 2008
bwaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahhahaaaaaaaaaaaa
well…ummm….
at least he didn’t use my favorite word: fucktard
June 4th, 2008
came here from karen sugarpants, who REALLY should have warned me not to be slugging back the diet dr. pepper when i did.
sticky keyboard makes it hard to comment.
June 4th, 2008
….can’t….stop….laughing!!!
June 4th, 2008
Here from Ms. Sugarpants. Totally worth the click – lulz!
June 4th, 2008
I love that kid!
June 4th, 2008
That is hilarious!
My son watched E.T. the other night… which got this in his head…
As I was kissing him goodnight, I said “good-night buddy. I love you whole wide world!” And he says… “You too… penis breath!”
Which I didn’t have by the way… ;)
GREAT BLOG!!
- Audrey
June 4th, 2008
Aww, another hallmark moment…
June 4th, 2008
this is a classic moment.. i love it
and now that f***tard word is going to sweep the country.. or my house
June 4th, 2008
omg, I think I’m in love (Oliver and Bumper would be such a formidable couple, don’t you think?)
June 4th, 2008
And after you peed in your pants, what’d you do?
June 4th, 2008
“Good Night, Fuckdog”
Some indie band’s going to steal this and use it for the title of their live album. If they don’t, I will.
June 4th, 2008
i so love your kid.
June 4th, 2008
… GASP.
June 4th, 2008
How, um, sweet?
By the way, you need to read http://www.laineygossip.com for your celeb gossip fix!
June 4th, 2008
OMG Coke all over my computer screen now… thanks LOL
The f**tard word has been in much usage here for about 6 months now… it’s one of my faves, besides referring to the vajayjay as a cold cool popsicle treat.
I thought our nightly ritual of “I love you with all my cotton pickin heart” was long and drawn out… I can’t imagine if it was returned with “i love you f**kdog…”
June 5th, 2008
BWHAHAHA. Where did he pick THAT one up?
June 5th, 2008
Er…um…did Oliver hear that from somewhere? Man…seriously…there is nothing funnier than when my kids accidentally swear.
June 5th, 2008
Oh my! How did you react to that. I would have cracked up, thereby insuring that I would be called “fuckdog” for the next decade.
June 5th, 2008
That Oliver! He’s such a riot!
June 5th, 2008
he’s so going to loooove that story when he’s…well, whatever age you decide to tell it to him at. ;)
June 5th, 2008
Oh. My. God. My husband just ran into the room to see what was wrong because I just yelp-laughed. It’s a very funny sound.
June 5th, 2008
visited via Onomampoeia Life…LOVE all the young Mom stories of life I have been coming across! And you all have a great sense of humor! Go Ladies Go!
June 5th, 2008
jeZUZ! That made me laugh!
June 5th, 2008
Always read and never comment but just have to say that this gave me such a laugh..funniest moment of my day
June 5th, 2008
OMG I’m doing that shaking all over silent laugh thing, because everyone else is in bed – thankfully with no mention of fuckdogs. (My girl still thinks “What the heck” is a bad word, so she tells me. Frequently.) That is awfully funny – how did you not laugh?
June 6th, 2008
Fuck dog?! Oh my goodness, that is hilarious. Could you pick your jaw up off of the floor? Where did that come from?
June 6th, 2008
So, is that Underdog’s Evil Twin?
June 6th, 2008
holy crap, that just made me spit my water all over my desk.
That is WAY too funny!
June 6th, 2008
Two hundred years from now, your tombstone will be the one all the kids are crowded around when they’re doing those crayon rubbings.
June 6th, 2008
Hehe :) Can’t think where he could have picked that word up!
June 6th, 2008
….*choke*…
fuck…dog????
LOLOLOL
Niiice……
(but that is so cute, you guys call each other names of different types of meat….uh….we don’t do that here in my house. *SNORT*)
June 6th, 2008
Yeah. I’ll be using that. How did I never think of Fuckdog??
:)
June 7th, 2008
HA!
How the hell are you? :)
June 8th, 2008
I. Love. Oliver.
Totally and forever.
June 9th, 2008
um, yeah i totally LOL’ed at that one.
June 11th, 2008
kgirl told me to read this when I was looking for the funny last week. She was right. It is funny, fuckdog.
June 11th, 2008
I was inspired to visit you by Karensugarpants. So glad I stopped to read this post. Oh so funny and totally unexpected. You got us all good!
July 1st, 2008
Oh my gosh, so funny. I am totally going to call my husband a fuckdog next time we are jokingly fighting.
July 1st, 2008
I nearly fell out of my chair. Hysterical. Thanks for the laugh. Found you at Amber’s.
July 3rd, 2008
Oh yes, that so would happen here to. I love that phrase though and am now going to replace asshat with fuckdog! WOO HOO!
July 4th, 2008
Reply to “Wishes of sweet slumber from my son”