Sound bytes: The “What’s taking so damn long, spring?” edition


“Until very recently, I thought Collective Soul was a compilation album.”

~my brother

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Are you going to eat that graham crapper?”

~Dave

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Julia, what did the sleep fairy bring you last night?”

“She brought me a man!”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“I’m just getting the violent offenders.”

~Dave, doing the ol’ pick n’ flick out the car window.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The Scene: Oliver is sitting on his bed sobbing because I have “grounded” him for bashing his sister in the mouth with his gigantic oversized SpiderMan Pez dispenser (this thing is BADASS – it plays the theme song and everything), splitting the inside of her upper lip. For some reason, telling Oliver he has been “grounded to his room” has much more weight than sending him for a “time out”, and he is bordering on hysterical.

“Mummmmmmy! Am I grounded?” (Sob. Sob. Wail. Sob.)

“Yes, Oliver. You’re grounded in your room for a bit.”

“I don’t want to be grounded in my room! I want to be grounded downstairs on the couch with the Lightning McQueen movie!”

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36 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. That’s how I like to be grounded too. Stay strong big O, I feel ya dawg

    March 24th, 2008

  2. Dude. I want to be grounded on the couch with the Lightening McQueen movie too.

    March 24th, 2008

  3. Collective Soul a collaboration? How are you related to him?

    And the grounded thing? Makes total sense to me. Although next time I think he should negotiate for some chips or something too.

    March 24th, 2008

  4. Ah, the bitter realization about “grounding” hits young… :)

    March 24th, 2008

  5. Kim

    I want to be grounded at the beer factory late at night when everyone else has gone home, but we don’t all get what we want. Suck it up, kid. Better to learn now.

    March 24th, 2008

  6. I want to be grounded OUTSIDE of my house. Too. Much. Easter. Candy.

    Poor dude :(

    March 24th, 2008

  7. When The Boy in my house farts, he says “What? They weren’t paying rent, I had to evict them”

    March 24th, 2008

  8. I want to be Oliver-style grounded too.

    March 24th, 2008

  9. liv

    I’d like to be grounded to a room in the Four Seasons with free mini bar access. FO-EVUH.

    March 24th, 2008

  10. Lisa b

    Oh the drama. It makes me nuts that reasonable request like ‘don’t hit your sister’ must be met with screaming hysterics.
    I tried the room thing but my kid won’t stay.
    Does Oliver just stay or are there threats involved?

    March 24th, 2008

  11. Spiderman, spiderman goes wherever a spider can!
    I can’t wait til Sam can talk. :)

    March 24th, 2008

  12. Grounded to the room, hmmm, I’m going to have to try that one. I’d like to be grounded to my room, too, but no one else is allowed to be there with me. And someone else must clean up all messes from other people that result from my grounding.

    March 24th, 2008

  13. Renee

    Well, me too, Oliver. Duh.

    March 24th, 2008

  14. Ahhh Oliver…. don’t we all…

    March 24th, 2008

  15. Oliver is now officially smarter than us all.

    March 24th, 2008

  16. Just the other day my son asked if he could move the “bad boy’s Chair” into the play room so he did miss his favorite part of Lightening McQueen! ah, NO!

    March 24th, 2008

  17. There are times when I’d been quite happy being grounded to my room. And here’s hoping the Sleep Fairy doesn’t visit my daughter anytime soon!

    March 24th, 2008

  18. I love graham crappers with peanut butter.

    March 24th, 2008

  19. ROFL. I thought the same thing when I first heard of Collective Soul. But I was enlightened and now I love them.

    I like Oliver’s idea of being grounded. Could you ground me please?

    March 24th, 2008

  20. Ha. Good luck with that one, kid!

    My favourite today was me trying to encourage hr along in getting dressed, telling her I was going to be dressed before her, and she retors, “I’m okay with that.” Dang.

    March 24th, 2008

  21. Oh no. My dh totally thought thde same thing about Collective Soul. Holy crap, am I married to your brother?

    March 24th, 2008

  22. Smart kid.

    March 24th, 2008

  23. moo

    I’m sorry, but it totally cracked me up that he thought that he could be grounded and still watch Cars. Kids are so funny.

    March 25th, 2008

  24. You make me laugh.

    March 25th, 2008

  25. I want the sleep fairy to visit me. Truly, I do.

    March 25th, 2008

  26. Oh, Oliver. That kid cracks me up. I would LOVE to be grounded on the couch with a movie. I should suggest that to my boss.

    March 25th, 2008

  27. Chels

    the last one cracked me up

    March 25th, 2008

  28. I feel you Oliver, I feel you.
    I want to be grounded to my room, actually.
    Where my bed is. So I can sleep.

    ;)

    LOVE that kid.

    March 25th, 2008

  29. I suddenly have a hankering for graham crappers.

    Okay, not really.

    March 25th, 2008

  30. Excellent.

    March 25th, 2008

  31. Testify, Oliver. Testify.

    March 25th, 2008

  32. Still laughing at Graham Crapper.

    March 25th, 2008

  33. Man, tell Oliver there will come a day when he’ll be begging to be grounded to his room where he can sleep.

    I love the violent offender line. I’m soooo borrowing it. Heh.

    I just saw Collective Soul a few weeks ago. Actually got the chance to go out with them after for drinks. Well, I drank. They kinda pointed and laughed. With me, of course. Not at me.

    Heh.

    March 25th, 2008

  34. EE

    *snort* That last one had me LOL He’s a smart cookie, that Oliver. LMAO

    March 25th, 2008

  35. These kick ass!

    I want to adopt you and your entire family.

    March 26th, 2008

  36. Your family sounds like a sitcom…!

    March 26th, 2008

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