1) Julia and I went to the dentist last night for a checkup/scraping/cleaning. Julia has twenty teeth and no cavities. I don't know how many teeth I have but I do know the harder I try to take care of them, the worse they get.
2) I mentioned the fact that I’ve had a toothache for a few days. We’ve talked about this tooth before, my dentist and I; the term ‘root canal’ has been uttered in reference to this bastard of a tooth before and I was terrified it would be uttered again.
3) It was, but so was the word prevent. As in, “Let’s do what we can to prevent a root canal.”
4) Yes, let’s do WHATEVER THE FUCK IT TAKES to prevent a root canal! I don’t give a shit how far root canals have come in the last twenty years or how nowadays they’re like, boring and practically painless and really no big deal, like the hygienist was saying. Even if Brad Pitt was going to conduct a root canal on me BUCK NAKED I still wouldn't want one.
5) I started feeling kinda shitty in the afternoon; by the time we got home I could feel it coming, The Sickness.
6) Julia appeared by my bedside at 5am, all undone because her sheet and comforter had gotten twisted. I couldn’t get back to sleep after getting up to help her and lay in bed trying not to let my mind wander off too far.
7) I tried putting myself to sleep by alphabetically reciting blog names and mentally composing posts, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how shitty I felt. The Sickness, it had arrived.
8) I finally drifted off about twenty minutes before I had to get up and during those twenty minutes of sleep I had really fucked-up sick dreams about killer snakes and cats and uninvited house guests. I got so mad at Dave in one of them I had to remind myself when I woke up that it was just a dream and he deserved a kiss more than a punch in the face.
9) I opted for sleep instead of a shower and stayed in bed for an extra twenty minutes. I love you, bed.
10) Actual conversation I had with Oliver this morning:
“Mummy, guess what?!”
“What, buddy?”
“Mummy, guess what!?”
“What?”
“Mummy, guess what?!”
“What?”
“Mummy! Guess what?!”
“WHAT?”
“Talk to my umbrella.”
35 Comments, Comment or Ping
Friend, if you’ve been able to stave off collapsing from The Sickness for THIS long, you are one Strong Woman. If it’s what we had here, it hit us all like wildfire, one-by-one, and I was so completely unable to lie down long enough to “embrace it” and recover, I wound up getting it TWICE.
You just rest, hon. As much as your busy family will let you.
xo CGF
ps. What DID you say to the umbrella? Or did it all turn out to be another one of those trippy Sickness dreams???!
March 19th, 2008
oy. hate the idea of dentist. hate. do. not. want.
and Oliver? how about LOLiver?
Don’t hit Dave, because, remember, he’s a legend.
March 19th, 2008
jeez. possible root canals. sickness. talking umbrellas? what’s next!
stay away from my place though – “yak” all over the joint! ICK!
March 19th, 2008
i had two root canals a couple months ago and it wasn’t that bad. you’ll be numbed up beyond belief and afterwards i didn’t have any pain at all.
March 19th, 2008
oh no! i had the sickness last weekand had the luxury of putting the kids in daycare. i hope you can get some help.
are you sure you weren’t still dreaming when that conversation with oliver occurred? :)
March 19th, 2008
I hope the Sickness is very mild and passes quickly…
March 19th, 2008
I would comment on the last half of this entry, but you mentioned Brad Pitt naked, so I stopped there. :) Not really. Gabe decided that if I don’t answer his questions before he finishes asking them, then I’m not paying attention and he has to yell at me. Sometimes I’d rather talk to an umbrella.
March 19th, 2008
1) That is a bizarre conversation. Pumpkinpie would do that and then end with “I love you” just after I j\had gotten exasperated and shouted, just to make me feel like crap. She does that. *grits teeth* It’s both endearign and aggravating.
2) Hope you feel better soon and that your tooth stops giving you grief.
March 19th, 2008
I too have heard the phrase root canal uttered by a dental professional. My solution? Don’t go see them anymore.
Oh, and the umbrella thing just proves yet again that your child is a comedic genius.
March 19th, 2008
man, I am sick of this sickness shit. it keeps coming back over and over in the same and new forms as it passes through each person.
talk to the umbrella. of COURSE.
March 19th, 2008
Number 8 was hilarious.
March 19th, 2008
I’m having dental surgery day after tomorrow. I did not need to read about root canals. Talk to my umbrella.
March 19th, 2008
Talk to the umbrella because the hat don’t understand.
Oh and I hate going to dentist – even if he was Brad Pitt and did all his stuff nekkid. We can let our gums rot together girlfriend.
March 19th, 2008
boo on the dentist.
i hope you start feeling better bebe.
#8 ha ha. i have that happen ALL the time.
i constantly have to remind myself to seriously not beat the
shit out of anyone who i have had in a bad dream. ha ha ha.
love you boo.
♥
March 19th, 2008
I fucking love talking to my umbrella. It doesn’t ask for food or validation.
That’s it by the way. Re the sickness. I am trans amming to your front door and I am going to lysol the damn place top to bottom. Furthermore, Oliver and Julia will live in plastic bubbles so as not to spread ny more contagion.
March 19th, 2008
My mother told me breezily last time i saw her that having a root canal was much easier than getting a crown.
As if i will ever believe a single thing she has to say after that. Just the term “root canal” makes me start shaking.
March 19th, 2008
Run away from the dentist. As far away as you can get. Root canals suck. I had one last week on Friday. I’m still in pain. Damn dentist.
March 19th, 2008
Yeah, having a root canal is not that bad – think really long filling. What they don’t tell you is that you have to have a crown on the tooth and that sucks. And if none of that bothers you, the bill will give you a heart attack.
(I’ve had three – so far).
March 19th, 2008
I love that you said Julia was “all undone”. It’s simple. I like that. It’s the perfect word for describing what happens to small children when something happens that is outside their control or understanding. I’ve been using “freak the f*ck out” but I think I’m going to have to add “undone” to my mental thesaurus.
March 19th, 2008
Oy. The root canal…. you could buy a villa while spending that kind of money.
I hope you feel better soon, my bud.
March 19th, 2008
is that like talk to the hand?
I am so out of the loop
March 19th, 2008
Oliver’s awesome.
I am glad you realised real Dave is not responsible for dream Dave.
Is he getting that bowling alley or what?
March 19th, 2008
I know that you have been blogging for a while. But I feel as if I won the lottery. I can’t get enough. Of you.
“alphabetically reciting blog names and mentally composing posts”
Ummmm…. That is weird. I would never do anything like that. :) LOL!
March 19th, 2008
not even if brad pitt was doing it? buck naked? really? whoa, you are sick.
feel better soon.
March 19th, 2008
I love my bed, too. LOVE.
March 19th, 2008
well, if Brad Pitt was going to give me a root canal naked, i think i’d let him. and i hate the freaking dentist.
feel better, love.
March 19th, 2008
Oy. I have a very strong aversion to the dentist. I wouldn’t call it a phobia, yet. But…so far my teeth are okay. Hope you can avoid a root canal.
The Sickness…it’s insidious. Feel better soon.
March 20th, 2008
Don’t you love how little kids are the kings of the non sequiturs? Cracks me up all the time. I hope the Sickness passes quickly and that Dave takes good care of you, even if he has to duck punches in order to do so.
March 20th, 2008
I’m freakin’ TERRIFIED of the dentist.
Which is why I have not yet gone to get my cavity filled. I will live with the irritating pain. NO PROBLEM.
March 20th, 2008
Isaac has been doing that “mom? mom? mommy? mommy?” thing lately. And when I say “what” or “yes dear” or “oh my GOD what do you WANT!” he either says nothing at all… or says nothing at all and smirks at me… or says “hmm… i wonder…”
I’d much prefer to be told to talk to the umbrella.
March 20th, 2008
Talk to my umbrella. PRICELESS! I wonder what my husband would think if I said that to him…..
Oh, the wit of the 2.5 year old.
Hope you are feeling better soon!
March 20th, 2008
really? even NAKED?
March 21st, 2008
LMAO. I have those dreams all the time, and I wake up all pissed at Kory. And he’ll ask why I’m being such a rag, and I tell him he just pissed me of in my sleep. Haahahaha
:)
March 24th, 2008
I live in fear of the root canal.
But I’m not loving my bed lately. It’s making me feel like an old abused elderly woman.
I wake up wishing someone would smother me with a pillow.
I hope your feeling better, darlin’.
March 25th, 2008
Gah…..
Dreams like that SUCK.
But seriously, you can fall asleep thinking about blogs?! Bc that actually makes me jump up bc I want to write shit down so I don’t forget. LOL
March 25th, 2008
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