“Do you remember what you promised?”
We were lying in her bed facing each other, Chewy a fluffy ball beside us, his motor running loudly.
I nodded. “I promised to tell you the story of when Oliver was born.”
Her eyes lit up. “Tell me.”
“Okay,” I sighed. “On the day Oliver was born…”
“I slept at Grammie’s,” she finished.
“Yes, you did.”
“And when you woke up you had a banana and a bagel for breakfast.”
I poked her in the armpit. “Who’s telling this story, anyway?”
She giggled. “Keep going.”
“Okay,” I continued. “You slept at Grammie’s and when I woke up the next morning I took a shower and then I had a…” I trailed off, waiting for her to say it.
“A banana and a bagel!”
“Right. I had a banana and a bagel for breakfast and then I made sure I had everything I needed in my bag. Daddy and I sat in the living room for a while and talked, and then we left for the hospital.”
“And you were so big you didn’t fit in Daddy’s car, right?”
“No, that was with you,” I said, laughing. “I wasn’t as big with Oliver as I was with you. And besides, we took the van. There was plenty of room in the van for my big belly.”
She nodded.
“So we drove to the hospital and it was a very, very hot day. You could have fried an egg on the sidewalk, it was so hot.”
Her eyebrows jumped. “Wow. That’s hot.”
“I know,” I said. “Imagine having a big ol’ baby in your belly when it’s that hot out.”
She scrunched up her face.
“When we got to the hospital all we could hear were sirens and when we got to the front of the hospital we saw fire trucks parked outside. We had to wait for a while before we were allowed to go in the elevators, and then we went up to the second floor and told the nurses we were there to have a baby.”
“And they took you to a room with a bed and a TV and bathroom right inside,” she said.
“What a good memory you have,” I smiled. “They checked my belly and gave me a nightgown to wear and then Daddy went to get some lunch and I walked up and down the hall, but not for too long, because then I started getting a bad tummy ache.”
“Why?”
“Because Oliver was ready to come out. It hurts to have a baby, you know.” I reached over and tucked a stray swatch of hair behind her ear.
“Mummy?”
“Mmmm?”
“How does the baby get out?”
I should have known this was coming, I thought. “The baby gets pushed out, sweetie,” I said. “Anyway, the doctors came back in and…”
“Where does the baby come out?”
I bought myself a few seconds. “What do you mean?” My darling daughter, did you not get the memo I sent you about growing up and asking questions?
“Does the baby get cut out of your belly?”
“Well, sometimes that happens, yes,” I said.
“Did that happen to you?”
“No, sweetie. Listen, let me finish the story, okay?”
“What happened with you? Where did Oliver come out?”
“Well, uh…okay, Julia, see…when a mummy pushes a baby out, it comes out of her, well…it comes out of her vag!na.”
It was like I’d just told her the sky was blue. She didn’t flinch. “And that hurts, right?”
“Yes,” I said, a little too emphatically. “Yes, it does,” I said, more gently.
She considered this for a minute, shifted her gaze from me to the ceiling before looking back at me. “Mummy?”
I heard her but I didn’t; I was caught up in the movie reel of memories unraveling in my head: in her nursery, us rocking gently in my grandfather’s rocking chair, her snuggled up to my breast and me looking down at her face, lit by the light of the moon…her first steps, wobbling toward me on shaky legs, a look of excitement and fear splashed on her face…the day she tripped on the patio and kissed the pavement good n’ plenty, the way she folded into my lap and clung to me, sobbing, and I wiped the tears off her cheeks and kissed the angry red patches…her first day of school, how she looked over her shoulder at me, called out her love before turning to face the day…
“Mummy?”
I smiled at her, reached over and took her in my arms. “You’re growing up so fast,” I murmured into her hair.
“Do you want me to stop?” It was like she was reading my mind.
“Sometimes,” I admitted, cupping her face in my hands. “But you know what?”
“What?”
“I really like the girl you are growing up to be,” I said, and our smiles were so big, so bright, they could have set her room on fire.
56 Comments, Comment or Ping
OK, so now I’m sitting here at my desk weeping because oh my goodness, this is so beautiful and sweet, I can hardly stand it.
I love the way you tell this story. And I love that she’s interested about the day Oliver was born.
February 28th, 2008
ooof.
yes, answering D’s question of where the baby came out was difficult for me. i somehow felt as if a shot of bourbon would have stood me in good stead to handle that a little better.
i told him, and then he wanted to examine the place where Peep came out.
ummm, no, son. sorry.
February 28th, 2008
and then who farted?
sorry, it’s a defense mechanism.
i miss my little girl a lot.
February 28th, 2008
Every time I come here, I end up crying… :-)
Thanks for a beautiful blog.
February 28th, 2008
Awww, what a sweet post. You made me so look forward to my own baby girl growing up.
February 28th, 2008
*sigh* this is so sweet
February 28th, 2008
I feel like I should brush my teeth.
February 28th, 2008
wow, this was so beautiful. what a special little girl you have!
February 28th, 2008
That is such a sweet story. Brendan asked me that question, but so far, I was able to avoid the answer.
February 28th, 2008
That is so sweet. I love it. Lately Miss C talks about how big she is getting. Yes she is. Yes she is.
Love this story.
February 28th, 2008
Sniffle…. that was so sweet….
I have tears.
I love that story too!
February 28th, 2008
oh. MT.
just oh.
February 28th, 2008
You have an incredible gift with words.
February 28th, 2008
Think you could drive to the ’shwa when I get asked those questions? Cause dude I am not going to be so eloquent answering them. :)
February 28th, 2008
Oh, y’all are both so sweet! I wanna come over and give you a hug.
February 28th, 2008
hmph. i just pretty much yelled at my three year to go to sleep and then came here and read this. i guess i have to go hug and cuddle her now before this awesomely touching post eats me alive!
February 28th, 2008
awwww, you made me cry. Thank you.
February 28th, 2008
This is beautiful. And I can’t help contrasting your childhood with Julia’s, which makes this all the more amazing.
You have become the mother you needed, Tulip. That’s a genuine triumph.
Oh….and really fun to read.
February 28th, 2008
Awwwww!!! Julia is the BEST.
February 28th, 2008
And that’s how family histories are made.
February 29th, 2008
[happy sigh]
Good LORD. This is like the best post ever and makes anything I\’ve ever written feel and seem like….The Enquirer. LOL
Seriously. *LOVE* this post. xoxox
February 29th, 2008
This is lovely. And a nice distraction from the creepy delivery men who are in my bedroom at 12:25 am, scratching their nuts and trying to put together my bedroom furniture.
What I’d give to be with you and Julia and Chewy. I’d even let you poke me in my armpit…
February 29th, 2008
can you make me a promise? Please keep this blog for your children to read, if it has this effect on me – a person who has never met you then it will take them through the hardest times- you can see your love for your children in every word you write.
February 29th, 2008
oh dammit.
i am sobbing.
damn you.
and the strangest thing was, as i was reading this, a song, called “Capri” came on, by Colbie Caillat, and it is about a baby…Do you have it?
I need to email it to you.
Let me know.
xox ♥
February 29th, 2008
This is beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
February 29th, 2008
Lovely post. I love the snuggle time in bed.
I remember having that conversation with my girls when I overheard Leah telling Rachel, “….and then the mommy goes to the hospital and the doctor cuts the mommy open and the baby comes out.” I still don’t think that Leah believes me that babies come out through vaginas.
February 29th, 2008
It’s my first visit to your blog, and you really moved me. What a great post!
February 29th, 2008
Oh god, I’m crying. I love reading your slivers of life, Mama T, I really do (even if they make me cry like a baby). What a beautiful post WAH!
February 29th, 2008
You are such a good mommy! Very nice Mommy / Julia moment. Thank you for sharing it with us!!
Kat
February 29th, 2008
sweetness.
that was fucking beautiful.
February 29th, 2008
What a beautiful post!
Thanks for sharing
February 29th, 2008
Gah, so sweet!
February 29th, 2008
Wow. So beautiful.
February 29th, 2008
Gahhhhh my heart is melting all over here.
February 29th, 2008
She’s lovely just like her mum.
March 1st, 2008
sniff. such a sweet story, a sweet girl.
March 1st, 2008
I just read this story and the one below it. I didn’t know my heart could ache in such diverse ways within the course of a few minutes.
Truly beautiful writing.
March 1st, 2008
I’m not crying. I just got some lint in my eye.
Or maybe it’s just the hormones talking.
*sniff*
March 1st, 2008
Are you trying to kill me? I just saw a nursing newborn the other day and felt a pain shoot through my heart, remembering how tiny Gabe used to be and how much he changes every day. I was barely remember what it was like to sit there for hours watching him sleep.
Why do they grow up so fast anyway?
March 1st, 2008
very sweet…
March 1st, 2008
Beautiful. And I don’t think I’ve said it yet, but I’m so glad you’re back.
March 2nd, 2008
And what a nice story this will be to share with her when she gets older..
March 2nd, 2008
Dude, my Mom NEVER told me where babies came out. When I was fourteen she left a book on my bed.
As if I really needed anything explained to me at that age.
March 3rd, 2008
I heart daughters. We are lucky to have them.
March 3rd, 2008
Lovely.
March 3rd, 2008
Beautiful post. It’s those perfect moments when you wish time could stand still.
March 3rd, 2008
Oh, you two just made me cry, dammit!
March 3rd, 2008
Good lord, this was incredible. I think I sobbed audibly when she offered to stop.
Beautiful!
March 3rd, 2008
Oh, I am so glad this is the one that got the PP. It was so delicate, so lovely, so satisfying.
March 4th, 2008
Yep, that growing up stuff…it’s just not for grown-ups, is it?
Beautiful post.
March 5th, 2008
Oh, Mama T–
You made me cry, dude.
xo
March 6th, 2008
So sweet.
Little girls are heaven.
March 6th, 2008
OH my GAWD, you kiiilllll me!
*sniff* !!!!
:)
March 7th, 2008
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