On Saturday night Dave and I jumped in the car and drove to Toronto. He met up with a friend and got DRUNK ON BEEF! at the Korean Grillhouse while I went out for a night on the town with some of T-dot’s finest bloggers. To say I was nervous was an understatement; I’ve never met any of the Toronto crew before (or like, any bloggers, period), but I had the. best. time. To be able to meet people that I’ve read on a regular basis, whose lives I’ve followed through the written word, in person was really quite an amazing experience – one I can’t wait to do again.
Once Dave finished stuffing his gullet full of grilled meats he came to meet me and we stayed long enough for me to suck back one more brew and for him to show off his bad ink before saying our goodbyes and heading home.
“I can’t believe they wanted to see my tattoo,” he said once we were on the highway.
I laughed. “I guess they just wanted to see Beethoven – I mean, Jon Bon in the flesh, babe,” I said, busying myself with the radio so I wouldn’t see the glare I know he was giving me. I decided to change the subject.
“I told them about you wanting to name Julia Benicio if she was a boy,” I said. “And about you wanting to name Oliver Incoranata if he was a girl and call her Inky for short,” I added.
“Did you tell them about Dave’s Balls?” he asked.
(My husband, who is much, much more ambitious than I, has always wanted to run his own business. Every time he happens to see a business for sale – a no-tell motel, a restaurant, a run-down cinema – he launches into a lengthy tirade about how fulfilling and rewarding it would be to run our own business, how much money we’d make and how hard we could make the kids work for us. On Family Day he took Julia bowling and when they returned he went on for fucking hours waxed poetic about how awesome it would be if he ran his own bowling alley. He’d even thought of a name for the alley, he’d told me, a hint of pride lacing his voice: Dave’s Balls.)
“No,” I sighed. “No, babe, I didn’t tell them about Dave’s Balls.”
He glanced at me, surprised. “You didn’t? Why not?”
I waited for him to start laughing and punch me in the arm like I was one of his frat buddies or something. It never happened.
“You really expect me to tell people – people I want to like me – about Dave’s Balls? Seriously?”
“Why wouldn’t you? I want to bring bowling back, babe. Make it cool again; get the skids and the punks back into the game. You watch. All the kids will want to hang out at Dave’s Balls.”
I considered this. “And what if like, a little boy wants to have his birthday party there? What are parents supposed to write on the invitations? Come to a bowling party! See you at Dave’s Balls!”
He grinned broadly. “Yeah! And everyone else will be all, ‘Hey man, we’re hangin’ out at Dave’s Balls tonight’ or ‘Meet me down at Dave’s Balls’. I’ll be a legend.” He gazed out the window, starry-eyed.
For a second, I didn’t know what to say (I mean, what DO you say to that?). “Whatever, Dave,” I sighed.
We sat in silence for a couple of minutes and I was just about to start going on (again) about how cool it was to finally have met some of the people who I’d been reading for the last couple of years (give or take a few months)* when he reached over and put his hand on my thigh.
“So, can I buy a bowling alley?”
(*My apologies if I'm forgetting anyone…I did have four beers after all, and for me, four beers is the equivalent of a fuckin' two-four.)
54 Comments, Comment or Ping
Do it! Open a bowling alley with that name! Oh, the stories you could write! Haha!
I am glad you had fun! I had the same feelings before I met Amber, but it was so worth it. She is just as wonderful in person as she is in writing! :)
February 25th, 2008
something tells me i’d love dave’s balls.
tell me that crazymumma gave you a big hug from me! tell me!
February 25th, 2008
Gotta love Dave.
And Dave’s Balls.
(Wish I’d been there on Sat. eve.!)
February 25th, 2008
dave brings it
February 25th, 2008
I was out with a group of rowdy wimmins awhile back. While waiting to get a drink we got to talking about the bar we’d open and what we’d name it. We decided on “The Fun Hole.”
So if you and Dave ever open up a bowling alley, let me know. A few of us have a bar we’d like to open around the corner. We could do some joint marketing… People could drop their kids off at “Daves Balls” then go around the corner to “The Fun Hole” and party there. (Only “The Fun Hole” wasn’t supposed to mean THAT hole, but you know… The one that men don’t posses.) Or you know… We could open a bar right next to Dave’s Balls. That way the birthday party invites could say, “Joey is celebrating his birthday party in “Dave’s Balls”. But the parents are free to go to “The Fun Hole”, that’s right up against “Dave’s Balls”.
Oh the possibilities…
February 25th, 2008
Every time you post about Dave, I am more certain he and my husband have been separated at birth.
February 25th, 2008
I’m so glad you had a good time at the blog meet up. I’m going to my first one next week. (Taking a sickie from work on Tuesday.) I’d blog about how excited I am, but lots of people from work read my blog so I have to be silent.
Ahhh…. the relief of finally typing it out. (Shame we can’t meet at Dave’s Balls, but Canada is a little far away. )
February 25th, 2008
Oh, honey, you charmed the pants off of us. Dave too. And that’s not the Fruli talkin’.
And will there be league bowling at Dave’s Balls? Because we want to join. We’ll bring our own special balls. And a ball sack too. And is it 5-pin, or will there be big balls?
(ok, enough.)
February 25th, 2008
HA HA HA HA HA.
So, like I said in Tanis’s blog–I was already planning on moving to Canada to be closer to you, but…Now it’s a done deal. I must go. I must come.
I must come to Dave’s Balls.
-snickers-
;)
February 25th, 2008
I am so bummed that I couldn’t make it – I was all set too!
I would totally hang out at Dave’s Balls.
February 25th, 2008
not all of t-dot’s finest…sadly :(
February 25th, 2008
Momma – this is funny!
My husband fantasizes about opening a restaurant named “Biggins”. He says everything would be big – the drinks would be huge, huge plates of food, you get the picture.
Tell Dave that if he ever opens “Dave’s Balls” he needs to sublet his space for food service to us for “Biggins”. I think it would fit nicely.
February 25th, 2008
Holy shit. I thought Hoop was the only person who did that. Mentally, that man has owned a bagillion (yes, I said a BAGILLION) businesses. He drives me up a fucking wall. At first I tried to humor him. I even jumped in and tried to encourage it. Not anymore… I play circus tunes in my head instead.
February 25th, 2008
heh heh
Lucky you, having all those fellow lovely canadian bloggers nearby.
:-)
February 25th, 2008
Just think of the merchandise you could sell…with Dave’s Balls. T-shirts, koozies, bumper stickers. ;)
LOL!
So glad you got to meet up with some cool bloggers in real life!
February 25th, 2008
green. envy.
February 25th, 2008
wish I’d managed to get my arse off the couch in the ’shwa and drove in… glad you had a blast.
February 25th, 2008
he must have been really impressed with the way I was hanging onto your ankle as you were leaving drunkenly begging you not to go.
February 25th, 2008
That’s some bad ink. I can’t believe I missed the opportunity to meet not only the great Mama T but Dave too. Bah! Next time?
February 25th, 2008
And just think – you ‘n’ the kids would have to wear staff t-shirts or something… Isn’t meeting blog friends the best?! It’s like you’ve known each other forever. Why can’t internet dating be more like that???
Um, did you leave Julia in charge at home?! ;)
February 25th, 2008
I second Ali’s sentiments.
I swear, that’s the last time I let anyone book me two weeks in advance.
I missed out meeting YOU? Damnit.
February 25th, 2008
Would they have those cool personal cleaners at Dave’s Balls? You know for Dave’s balls?
February 25th, 2008
Dave’s Balls–like, for sure, totally. Bowling alleys are tré hip again. I went to one with my brother’s family up near Ottawa and the place was packed.
Although, you’d have to have a liquor licence, it’s really a must. Perhaps The Fun Hole could be in Dave’s Balls.
February 25th, 2008
say yes to the bowling alley – it’s an excellent idea. who doesn’t like bowling?
February 25th, 2008
http://www.bowlatstrike.com/venue/?venue=Bethesda
Totally cool. Totally worthy of Dave’s Balls.
February 25th, 2008
NOW HIRING!!
Dave’s Balls needs a part time cleaner!
Minimum wage but definitely perks! (get it??)
February 25th, 2008
I am strangely perplexed that he wonders why we wanted to see his tat yet is so confident about his balls?
I was so excited to meet you it never occurred to me we might also meet DAVE nevermind see his tattoo. I’m still pinching myself.
Bowling is totally back btw. Let him – you’ll be RICH. Plus we can all hang out there.
February 25th, 2008
It was so great meeting both of you. Can’t wait for the next one.
February 25th, 2008
oh Shut Up. I can’t stand it. Why, oh why oh fucking why do i live all the hell way down here.
(arms crossed)
February 25th, 2008
Sweet! Yes, buy a bowling alley that serves Früli and has internet access. It will be the coolest ever! I’d never leave Dave’s Balls.
February 25th, 2008
Oh, I have missed you–I LOVED this. Who wouldn’t want to check out the scene at Dave’s Balls?
Aren’t blogger get-togethers great?
February 26th, 2008
I live in the wrong place entirely.
February 26th, 2008
It could be worse. He could want to name it Shweddy Balls (you’ve seen the skit, no?)
My friend (a girl!) had an idea that she thought would make her millions. Little bags of mixed nuts sold in a cloth bag that said, Nut Sac. Yes. She did.
February 26th, 2008
So, would the balls be BIGGER than normal? Just wonderin….
February 26th, 2008
I love Dave. And his balls. ;^)
February 26th, 2008
Laughing to hard at Dave’s Balls to be witty. DAMN I missed meeting you IRL on Saturday. Next time baby, next time for SURE!
February 26th, 2008
Drunk on beef? Damned straight. I’ve seen it happen.
February 26th, 2008
okay, Dave’s Balls is a great name… but I see your point about B-day invites. Oh, the mommy-chatter at the park!
I just came across your blog today and I heart it. I clicked through some of your bloggy-friends (online and bar) and they are great too. Oh, what would we all do without blog-land. Seriously!?!
February 26th, 2008
I am so jealous! I am convinced that I am the only blogger in the entire Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill area.
I will fly if you invite me to your next get-together. I have a fun ex-Aunt who lives in Toronto.
February 26th, 2008
There are lots of Maritime bloggers but we’re kind of scattered around… I think we might be having a get-together this summer. And will beverages be consumed? Just possibly.
Now I’m going to sound all bloggy-stalker by saying how tickled I was that you stopped by my little corner of the internets… you were one of the first blogs I started reading and I’ve got a little hero worship going. ((ahem)) in a not-creepy way, of course.
February 26th, 2008
How awesome!
The outing, not Dave’s Balls.
Although I’m sure that they’re lovely.
The balls, not the bloggers.
Well, the bloggers probably were too..
NEVERMIND!
February 26th, 2008
And…like….everything in the place would be blue. Right?
Tell me that at least all the bowling balls would be blue. Please?
So glad you had fun. And this is Hilarious. I totally heart Dave. You, too, of course.
February 26th, 2008
You Toronto babes had some awesome fun. I’m jealous!!
Rachael
February 26th, 2008
Does he say “Dave’s Balls” with an accent? Because that’s important. Live “Svelty balls”…it sounds better that way.
a.
February 26th, 2008
Tell Dave to forget about bringing bowling back. The kids love the bowling shirts, but I think that’s as far as the infatuation goes.
But if he ever wants to open a movie house, tell him to give me a call.
February 26th, 2008
I have been lurking on your site for months, ever since sweetenedtaters gave me the link.
You are too funny, dave is too!
Thanks for the laughs and good luck keeping dave’s balls out of the gutter.
February 26th, 2008
I wonder if this is why UrbanMummy wants to take the kids bowling all of a sudden…
Hmmmm.
She never mentioned Dave’s Balls… Good thing. That’s be weird. Could you see the conversation in the car…
“Kids, guess where we are going”
“Where Daddy”
“Dave’s Balls!!!”
“YAY!!!! We love Dave’s Balls!!!”
Can’t see it.
What would he re-name a motel???
February 26th, 2008
Bloggers rock. ;)
I’m glad it went as well as it did.
And totally LOL about Dave. Too funny.
February 27th, 2008
Wow! He’s a genius.
I can open my chicken joint next door called “Big Juicy Breasts”
February 27th, 2008
What a great party! Glad that you got to meet so many blog friends, it’s great when they’re close geographically!
February 27th, 2008
it’s horrid.
and I would totally hang out there.
totally.
February 28th, 2008
Giggle – i’m the kind of person who would visit Dave’s Balls precisely because I could say I’d been to Dave’s Balls… does that make me sad or what!
March 1st, 2008
Getting to this late but wanted to tell you how cool it was to finally meet you.
Dave’s Balls rock. (But yes, a little too riské for the birthday set.)
March 2nd, 2008
Reply to “Saturday night in the big city”