…does whatever a spider can…


This past Hallowe’en, Julia really grasped the concept of going door-to-door and begging for candy – she and a couple kids that live down the road teamed up and attacked the neighbourhood while Oliver plodded alongside Dave and me. While he really enjoyed trick or treating, his cold got the best of him; he ran out of steam about three blocks from our house and I ended up taking him home to stick him in the tub and scrub the makeup off of his face.

Julia was a doctor this year; we found her an actual hospital shirt at Goodwill that I splattered with red nail polish and she carried a doctor’s bag with a stethoscope slung around her neck. Oliver was Spider-Man, quite fitting since he eats, breathes and sleeps Spider-Man; he wore a costume that Dave picked up (probably at Goodwill too, as Dave is El Bargain Hunter Supremo) with bulging built-in muscles. Oliver loved the costume and wore it around the house many times before Hallowe’en night; the sight of my blonde-haired, green-eyed boy running around with bulging blue triceps and abs sent me into hysterics every time.

The costume Dave found didn’t have a mask and since Oliver came down with a raging cold two days before Hallowe’en we decided putting a mask over a constantly running nose might not be the smartest (or cleanest) thing to do and opted for face paint instead. And since my artistic abilities start and end at stick figures with x’s for eyes, I passed the job of making our son’s face look like Spider-Man’s over to my husband.

So, on Hallowe’en eve, while I took Julia upstairs to transform her into a surgeon, Dave sat Oliver on the kitchen counter and began to paint his face. Dave’s brother, a Spider-Man enthusiast, was on hand to help make sure Dave’s efforts were perfect, for when I say Spider-Man enthusiast I really mean a thirty-year-old man who is still completely and utterly obsessed with Spider-Man. And well, I think Dave’s brother was a little bit lacking in the help department, because when I came downstairs and saw my son’s painted face I wasn’t sure if I was looking at

a) a backyard wrestler

backyard wrestling resized.jpg

b) a member of the Insane Clown Posse

insane-clown-posse resized.jpg

or c) a kid who’d had his face painted by his father, who may or may not have been wearing a blindfold.

oliver spider man(2).jpg

But, whatever. For a first time face-painting I thought Dave did a damn good job. I looked past the globs of black paint in Oliver’s eyebrows and the fact that Dave had painted so close to his eyes his lids were white and saw him for what he was: a two-year-old boy who thought it was pretty cool to be dressed up like his idol with his face covered in paint. And not one person that we met during our travels thought that Oliver was dressed up as a wrestler. Not one!

I took a few pictures of the kids before they bombarded the neighbourhood and when Dave saw them he got upset and started to worry that, once older, Oliver would look at them and harbor serious resentment about the fact that on his second Hallowe’en his father made him look less like Spider-Man and more like one of the two guys that founded an 'evil clown' based rap group (and their own wrestling foundation). I kept trying to reassure him that yes, he did a good job and yes, everyone knew his boy was dressed up as Spider-Man, but he was still uncertain by the time he came upstairs to bed.

“Did you check on Oliver?” he asked as he sat on the edge of the bed and pulled his socks off.

“Yeah,” I said, yawning.

“How was his diaper?”

“Fine. He was dry,” I said.

“How about his self esteem?”

Next year we’ll just dress him up as a wrestler.

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50 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. Ha!

    I think he did a great job!!!

    Any dad that takes that much time to help his kid out on Halloween has built his self esteem to new heights!

    Go dad!

    November 6th, 2007

  2. I may be mistaken, but I believe the guys in Backyard Wrestling ARE the Insane Clown Posse. Just sayin’.

    But, uh, yeah… start saving for therapy, or next year just fork out the cash for a mask that you’ll toss afterwards when it’s full of snot. ;)

    November 6th, 2007

  3. Hey, it looks pretty good to me. At least Dave’s efforts look lots like Spiderman and less like Ace Frehley, or a rodeo clown. And in a totally unrelated topic, I learned this year how hard it is to do the facepaint thing when I made up my little vampire and vampire ghost. I think Oliver’s self-esteem is going to be fine. But it would be cool if he started his own wrestling federation….

    November 6th, 2007

  4. jen

    i agree, this year was terrific . finally old enough to enjoy it.

    and i think he was the bes spidey, ever. (whoa, wait, is it ok to abbreviate?)

    November 6th, 2007

  5. I think he did a great job! Much better than I would have, I’m sure.

    November 6th, 2007

  6. O looks awesome. Looks like he’s been eating Wheeties

    November 6th, 2007

  7. Laughing. Too. Hard. To. Type.

    November 6th, 2007

  8. It IS a bit Insane Clown Possy but can I just say, mega-props to Dave for taking on the face painting task? Many husbands would just stay completely away from that mess. He looks great.

    November 6th, 2007

  9. Cutest! Spidey! Ever!!!! (Tell Dave to get over himself – Oliver is adorable in that costume and the makeup is a hell of a lot better than we’d ever manage… my 5 year old only had a nose blackened to look like Mickey Mouse and the makeup was still smeared all over his face!!)

    November 6th, 2007

  10. Kim

    TOO STINKIN’ CUTE!!! Great costume and great job Dad!! LMAO!

    November 6th, 2007

  11. I could not be the first! Throw him in the ring. Make some money off of him….

    I think Dave did a fine job.

    red nailpolish splattering her gown. niiiiice….

    November 6th, 2007

  12. OMG he was stinkin’ cute!!

    November 6th, 2007

  13. Oh my – he looked brilliant!

    November 6th, 2007

  14. The make-up looks great! Cute pic!

    November 6th, 2007

  15. EE

    I have been dying to see pictures of him. That is utterly CUTE!!!

    Haley has a Spiderman costume very much like O’s he got from Santa last xmas and most days he is Spiderman. Very funny.

    November 6th, 2007

  16. Oh he looks just like spiderman – no fears there… wait, exactly who’s self-esteem are we trying to reassure here?

    November 6th, 2007

  17. Better superman than a member of Kiss I guess. :) I can’t get over how big Oliver is getting!

    November 6th, 2007

  18. you gals know how to make an amateur make up artist feel….

    i’m already planning next year’s costume for Oliver…

    Chewbacca!!!

    November 6th, 2007

  19. Stellar face-painting job. Oliver looked totally superhero.

    I, too, get a huge kick out of the insanely muscled costumes. Strangely hysterical!

    November 6th, 2007

  20. Oh his muscles are huge! That is a fantastically super cool Spidey.

    November 6th, 2007

  21. I think Dave did a fantastic job!

    November 6th, 2007

  22. I think he looks great. Dave did a lot better than i ever could have.

    November 6th, 2007

  23. He did better than I could have done!

    But next year, Oliver definitely needs to go as a member of ICP.

    November 6th, 2007

  24. He LOOKS so ‘dorable!! And, GREAT face-painting job. Looks like Dave had fun with it!

    November 6th, 2007

  25. WTF? He looks just like Spiderman!
    AWESOME JOB, DAVE!
    :]

    November 7th, 2007

  26. I think he did a pretty good job! Much better then my husband would have been able to do!!

    November 7th, 2007

  27. LMAO.
    it’s the memories, baby. the memories.
    (and, thankfully, you’ve captured them all for future reference.)

    November 7th, 2007

  28. The costume’s great, but even better is how happy and excited Oliver looks. I can’t believe how big the boy’s gotten, too!

    November 7th, 2007

  29. Halloween has always been and will always be one of my favorite holidays. October can never be long enough. The pumpkins. The costumes. The falling leaves and hot chocolate. The shiny bags of fun-size candy bars. The orange and black decorations. And the kids having the time of their lives pretending to be something else for one evening. Totally awesome. And Oliver is just adorable!

    November 7th, 2007

  30. Aw. The make-up looked awesome! He looks like the cartoon version of Spiderman instead of the real version. Real. Pfft. How’s that for a nerd statment?

    November 7th, 2007

  31. That is so funny! He looks cute!

    Hey, Brendan was a “Pet Doctor” this year, but everyone kept thinking he was a doctor. I guess they did not notice the paw marks on his scrubs. Haha!

    November 7th, 2007

  32. That is classic!! I think he looks cute! This will be a fun one to pull out for the girlfrind someday. ;)

    :)

    November 7th, 2007

  33. How freakin’ ADORABLE!!! Love the pose. :)

    November 7th, 2007

  34. He did a pretty good job. It’s so sad that KISS quit wearing their makeup and everything. They would totally be after Dave. ;)

    ps…..I posted a question at my place that you might be able to help me with.

    November 7th, 2007

  35. virginia

    too funny! What an excellent job for a blind make-up artist. Thank goodness the artist can’t read this.

    November 8th, 2007

  36. Ha! I think he looks cute! But he DOES look a little bit like a singer from Little KISS. LOL

    November 8th, 2007

  37. He looks adorable…
    One year, I did facepaint for all my daughter’s friends at herr birthday party and it was brilliant…
    I did Spidermen, I did faeries, I did Batman…Batgirl,
    and even the Incredible Hulk…
    Well, all the make up washes off brilliantly…
    Except the green…
    Poor kid was the Incredible Hulk for weeks…
    Ooops!

    November 8th, 2007

  38. He looks a little like a deranged Spiderman, but isn’t that half the fun?

    Damn, Tulip. You didn’t tell me your kids were so cute. You holding out on me?

    November 8th, 2007

  39. Well… it is suggestive of spiderman, anyway!

    (Loved Eat Pray Love, btw)

    November 8th, 2007

  40. Does that mean I should expect Oliver to be sneaking up on me sometime soon?

    November 8th, 2007

  41. cce

    I think it’s cool that you all added a little homemade touch, a pizazz, a little zing to the store bought costume. And I’m with those who’ve already said that just having a Dad willing to do face paint is a serious boost even if the paint job was a little off.

    November 8th, 2007

  42. I’m amazed at what a great job he did on a must-have-been-squirming two year old. So glad you all had fun.

    November 9th, 2007

  43. G’day from Australia,

    Halloween isn’t big here, but I posted a shot of a kid in a great witch costume. Last year forthe first time, I saw homes decorated for Halloween.

    November 9th, 2007

  44. I’m actually quite impressed! What a cutie!

    November 9th, 2007

  45. OH MY. Please, please, please use that as your Christmas card this year!

    November 12th, 2007

  46. He is so totally the embodiment of Spiderman.

    November 12th, 2007

  47. hat does it. next halloween I’m sending you a giant bottle of faygo.

    November 12th, 2007

  48. I cannot. stop. looking. at him. HEEEEEEE/

    The fake muscles, the, uh, um…Dave’s artistry – it’s all just so magnificent.

    (and a diaper and self-esteem check to round out the night? …bravo!)

    November 12th, 2007

  49. That is so awesome! Dave is quite the artist!

    Did your son do what my son did? My son walked around all night trying to figure out who had bigger muscles. He was dressed as the green power ranger, and was positive his muscles were bigger than his friend who was dressed as spider man. I had no idea it was inborn in men/little men to compare the size of things!

    November 13th, 2007

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