“You need to put something under Julia’s pillow,” I said as Dave got in bed beside me a few nights ago. “She’s been asking why The Sleep Fairy hasn’t come lately.”
Sighing, he threw back the sheet. “Yeah, it’s been a while,” he said. He started rummaging around in the change jar beside his bed, looking for something small to leave courtesy of The Sleep Fairy.
Let me pause for the cause here and tell you the story behind The Sleep Fairy. Several months ago we got caught in a vicious cycle where Julia was unable to settle down and fall asleep at night. She’d stay up for hours after we’d put her to bed and would wake up the next morning tired and cranky with serious eye baggage. Come 1pm she’d need a nap to make it through the rest of the day – but letting her sleep in the afternoon, even just for 45 minutes, was akin to handing her a coffee pot and a straw; it would rejuvenate her completely and the whole No Sleep ‘Till Brooklyn cycle would start again.
After a couple weeks of this I decided the only way to stop the insanity was to nix the afternoon nap (let’s all bow our heads now for a moment of silence…RIP, Afternoon Nap), which is what worked – eventually. It took a few days for her to adjust to her new schedule and initially was still having a hard time falling asleep. That’s when Dave invented The Sleep Fairy, a relative of The Tooth Fairy who quietly flies into the rooms of little boys and girls who have fallen asleep quickly at bedtime to leave a treat under their pillows.
Julia bought The Sleep Fairy bit hook, line and sinker. Her eyes grew wide and wondrous as Dave made up the bullshit story relayed the lore of The Sleep Fairy and she vowed to fall asleep immediately. And whaddya know, within about twenty minutes that first night she was sawing wood. She woke up the next morning and nearly exploded with excitement when she reached under her pillow and pulled out a mint from Red Lobster (hey, even The Sleep Fairy likes popcorn shrimp). It’s been smooth sailing ever since.
For a while Dave kept The Sleep Fairy bit up steady, but as Julia adjusted to her new routine and started falling asleep at a normal time he pared the visits back a bit. A few days would go by with no mention of The Sleep Fairy and we’d think we were in the clear…and then she’d bombard us with questions: Where was The Sleep Fairy? Why wasn’t she coming to visit? Was she on vacation? Could we call her? Email her?
Like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, Julia believes in The Sleep Fairy. We’re in too deep to quit now.
After several visitless nights, Julia cornered me a few days ago and quizzed me about The Sleep Fairy’s absence, which brings us back to me mumbling to Dave a few nights ago about putting something under her pillow.
“Go downstairs to the cupboard and grab a handful of Skittles,” I suggested, thinking he’d come up from the change jar empty handed.
“I found something for her,” he said. “A golf tee and a loonie.”
“A golf tee? Dave, come on. That’s worse than the Canadian Tire money you left for her. What four-year-old wants to find a fuckin’ golf tee under her pillow?”
“Julia loves golfing,” he said defiantly.
“No, you love golfing,” I corrected him.
“Right,” he said, flashing me a wicked grin as he waked toward our bedroom door. “And I am The Sleep Fairy.”
For the record, Julia was thrilled with the loonie and the golf tee. The current running joke between Dave and me these days is how we’ll have to re-mortgage the house in order to pay for the years of therapy our daughter will need when The Sleep Fairy stops visiting.
47 Comments, Comment or Ping
Love it!
I could use the sleep fairy. I wonder if she’d leave me some Tylenol PM under my pillow.
September 26th, 2007
OH, yes, you are deep into it. But, I keep forgetting that tooth fairy. My boys wake up in the morning, all disappointed because the tooth fairy forget AGAIN.
September 26th, 2007
That? Is Hilarious! And, like Julia, I would also like to find Canadian Tire money under my pillow. That shit is valuable!
September 26th, 2007
Ah the unintended consequences from the actions of sleep deprivation.
Seriously, this was the funniest thing I think I’ve read all day. Where’s my Sleep Fairy?
September 26th, 2007
Laughing my ass off. Can totally picture a golf tee and Canadian tire money under her pillow.
She’s growing up a true hoser! Love it!!!
September 26th, 2007
*nodding head*
Sleep Fairy, eh? I’ll have to remember that one for our next sleep strike.
September 26th, 2007
what a great idea! I love your Beastie Boys reference :) I’m not a big of a fan as you but that one is one of my favorite songs.
September 26th, 2007
I ran across your blog through Vixen. I have to tell you that is the *best* idea I have ever heard!! I have had soooo many nights of up for hours upon hours at a time. God bless the creative parent!!
September 26th, 2007
What a good idea! we might have to start with Clara…
September 26th, 2007
LMAO!!!
Think of it this way… You’re giving her one hell of an autobiography for when she becomes famous. ;)
September 26th, 2007
Check it out: when I was a kid, my parents bullshitted me with “Listening School.” You see, bad kids who don’t listen get sent away to Listening School. I fucking bought that shit until First Fucking Grade when I told someone about it who said there was no such thing. But that shit worked for them for four solid years. I’m not bitter.
Uh, what’s a “loonie?”
September 26th, 2007
That is the most brilliant idea I have ever heard of. Period. Are you like a total parenting genius or what? I am so going to use it once Rito is old enough to understand, and the best part is that Dad! always has crap all over the house to put under the pillow.
I love this!
September 26th, 2007
Kids will believe almost anything. A few years ago, a friend’s husband made the mistake of telling their three-year-old daughter “don’t let the bed bugs bite” right before sleep time and my friend ended up having to sleep in the room with her for a week after that.
September 26th, 2007
What the fuck is a loonie?
September 26th, 2007
OMG this sounds like something WE would do. SNORT!
I tried the sticker and reward system for a while with Caitlin. The problem we have with her is just getting her to go to sleep without 8 million books, stories, prayers, incantations, yadda yadda yadda. And then once she is asleep she has this really sucky habit of calling out for me about 2 a.m. Sucker that I am for peace and quiet I usually zombie walk in there.
I’m beginning to think that 90 percent of parenting is BSing your way through it. ;)
September 26th, 2007
Wait, the Sleep Fairy ISN’T REAL?! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
September 26th, 2007
you’re f***ing kidding me, i thought our house was the only one crazy enough to have a sleep fairy. only ours took on the more complicated form of “special bedtime surprise”. basically, i’d hit the dollar store each week, buy $7 worth of crap – one for each “special sleep”. now we have “happy doh-doh candy” for the two year old. yup, 4 skittles for breakfast if she goes to bed seamlessly. oh god, i’m so glad it’s not just us!
p.s. i just blogged about saying goodbye to the afternoon nap. sniff.
September 26th, 2007
“letting her sleep in the afternoon, even just for 45 minutes, was akin to handing her a coffee pot and a straw”
Love it. So true, so true. But I still occasionally succumb and pay the price later.
September 26th, 2007
Oh my gawd. do our husbands have the same bedside table.
I find golf tee’s EVERYWHERE. And he never golfs.
September 26th, 2007
It is true the sleep fairy gets to decide on the treats.
loved this.
September 26th, 2007
I will not give up the afternoon nap.
I will NOT give up the afternoon nap.
I WILL NOT GIVE UP THE AFTERNOON NAP.
I love the sleep fairy. Love it. Very clever. She may need to make an appearance around here!
September 27th, 2007
I think it’s a great idea.
She’ll get over it eventually. You’ll stip when she’s ready. Until then. Go to Oriental Trading and buy a bulk package of junk…it’ll last you months and its cheap crap. She’ll love it. I mean if she loves the friggin’ golf tee she’ll go nuts for the OT stuff.
September 27th, 2007
Love this post!!
They never tell you that as parents we’ll be the author of our own (painful) demise, do they? For us, it’s the after-dinner treat. Once, at a time lost to the distant mists of history, the after-dinner treat was offered as an enticement to force a recalcitrant toddler to eat enough bites of his dinner to prevent the Nutrition Police from taking mommy away for a long, long time. Now, the after-dinner treat is a requisite part of the meal, and the first question they ask when they sit down at the table is “How many more bites do I have to eat?” Banish the treat, they won’t eat the dinner. They’re way friggin’ smarter than we are, ya know….
September 27th, 2007
Dude, I am the biggest fan of WHATEVER WORKS. Which is why I’m Bee’s dance monkey.
And damn, a pot of coffee and a straw – THAT’S what I need.
September 27th, 2007
*snicker* Canadian Tire money. Niiiiice.
Hey Americans, a loonie is our $1 coin. It’s got a picture of a loon on the back. Hence the loonie. Then we added a $2 coin, and it was christened the toonie.
We are a fun-loving people.
September 27th, 2007
I too would appreciate a visit from the Sleep Fairy. She could leave me a nightcap. (The alcoholic kind that I will drink 2 months from now).
September 27th, 2007
Well, I think it’s a great idea. I may have to steal it one day in the near future. And the possibilities are endless. You can give just about anything; toothpicks, crackers, she’ll love it all!
September 27th, 2007
Dear Sleep Fairy,
I’d like to formally request a gagillion dollars please, or loonies, whatever currency works best for you.
Love,
Van Sr.
September 27th, 2007
Our tooth fairy forgot to pick up Vi’s tooth on the first night once and so we make up some story about how the thing has to be properly addressed etc. cause the tooth fairy doen’t want to be taking any teeth that don’t actually belong to her. So then, of course we forgot the second night. Luckily, Vi was very pragmatic about it and said the tooth fairy was confused- one night a tooth that wasn’t for her and not the envelope was addessed to her- so we had to write another note explaining the whole situation. Finally, the tooth fairy came. Nice, huh? Way to keep the tradition alive.
September 27th, 2007
Ah, the Sleep Fairy!?! I need to try that sometime.
Also, what is “the loonie?” Is that candy? Speak, American, why don’t ya! Haha, just kidding! :)
September 27th, 2007
My son digs on money coming out of his ears, and doesn’t like going to sleep, so we may swipe this idea. Fire up the support group, we’ll be there before long.
September 27th, 2007
Also, I believe “loonie” is Canuckian for “dollar.” :)
September 27th, 2007
ha ha ha ha.
omg. i love this.
i cannot wait until she’s older and you guys have to tell her
that the “sleep fairy” doesn’t exist!
you’re right–she WILL need therapy!
;]
September 27th, 2007
I love the idea of a Sleep Fairy… it reminds me of the “Monster-B-Gone” spray we used to douse the boys’ room in at bedtime… it was really just a water bottle with a monster “nuked” out on the label, but wow… it made bedtime a LOT easier!!
September 27th, 2007
Um, wow. Maybe the sleep fairy can start leaving notes, like “Good sleeping!” and one day leave one that says the sleep fairy is proud of her and she has graduated and won’t need her any more now that she’s a big girl/sleep graduate. Just a thought. Good luck with that!
September 27th, 2007
Genius. Pure genius.
September 27th, 2007
I remember having to give up the naptime for the youngest at our house. It made for sad, sad afternoons, but “crash time” came early and regularly every. single. evening.
The concept of Sleep Fairy is Brilliant, but beware when she starts to ask for stuff like cds and iPhones. Then you’re in real trouble.
September 27th, 2007
Y’know, if this would work with a 14 month-old, I’d be all over it.
September 28th, 2007
I hope Dave doesn’t mind if I borrow his idea and use in on my 4-year-old daughter, who is relentless with her stall tactics at bedtime. She goes on and on and on with different excuses as to why she doesn’t need to go to bed. Sometimes she is just awake for an hour but the other night it was after midnight before the sandman came to take her away. I love this idea and I think it would work on her.
September 28th, 2007
I need to do this!! What a great idea!
:)
September 28th, 2007
If I borrow your idea, do I have to pay royalties? ‘Cause I think it’s brilliant.
September 28th, 2007
Hehe :) I wonder if we’ll end up using your invention one day!
September 30th, 2007
I am so stealing this idea, when is too early to introduce this sleep fairy concept? OMG I’m so using this (and you know B will be getting magazine insert samples and hair elastics in addition to the golf tees and CT money).
Thank you, this was exactly the laugh I needed this week.
September 30th, 2007
Please, no! The nap dead? Gah!
September 30th, 2007
*snort*
That is awesome. Fucking awesome. I *LOVE* that idea!!!
October 1st, 2007
You and Dave are nice. If the creative juices ever run dry, you could buy a small puzzle (i.e., 30 pieces or so, not 500), and then put one piece under her pillow each night. It should probably be a piece that attaches to the piece from the previous night, so she doesn’t get too frustrated.
October 2nd, 2007
The sleep Fairy visits our house and loves to shop at the dollar store. We put our daughters bed in our room, arm length away from our bed and other than holding her hand until she falls asleep, she is in her own bed. New we are moving the bed away from ours and hopefully in a week, back to her own room. I’ve spent $50 on misc treats but its worth it. I sleep, she sleeps and my body doesn’t hurt from her kicking me in the night.
Sleep Fairy brought a new pair of undies, hair ties, a shirt, a barbie and clothes, lip gloss, markers and coloring book, dressup clothes (from 2nd hand shop) hula hoop, bubbles. NO CANDY, NO MONEY, leave that for easter and tooth fairy. We attach a note to each item that says how proud Sleep Fairy is and what she needs to do differently for the next night. So far its working, we’ll see what happens tonight when we move the bed to the otherside of the rooom,
Good luck to anyone else, persistence is the key and not giving in.
June 5th, 2010
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