A few things that people might not know about me: I am a celebrity gossip whore. There are three sites that I check obsessively regularly for juicy tidbits and I love those tidbits as much as I love a hot fudge sundae lined with brownies and smothered with whipped cream. I always wear a necklace of some sort; I feel naked without one and over the years I’ve amassed quite a collection of necklaces and pendants. And one other thing – I love bags and purses. I don’t collect them as much as I go through cycles with them – I’ll find one I really like, buy it and use it for a while before I donate it or pass it on to someone else. I have a couple of dressier ones and a few that were my mom’s that I would never give up, but for the most part I use my purses/bags until I’m sick of them and then pass ‘em on.
The purse I’m using now is one I won’t soon give away – I saw it at a kiosk in the mall amidst a sea of other purses and I swear it winked at me as I walked by, the slut. As soon as I saw it I knew I had to have it and I dropped forty bucks on it right then and there, forty bucks I don’t regret spending at all.
Her Bad Mother wants to know what’s inside my purse or my bag or whatever the hell I’m supposed to call it, so I dumped it out on the couch tonight and I gotta say, I’m mildly embarrassed by what I’ve been carting around with me lately.
In a semi-clockwise order, we have here:
A diaper; pretty self-explanatory. I usually carry a baggie of wipes with me but I drained that supply this afternoon after Oliver had his way with a sucker.
A note from Dave that reads, “I love you, Tulip! Smile! Love David.” I can’t remember when or why he gave it to me, but it makes me smile.
My gigantic wallet. I really hate having a wallet that big but it’s the only one I have found that will hold all of my wallet shit and my chequebook, and even though I don’t write cheques all that often I’m one of those people that needs to have her chequebook with her at all times. You know, just in case.
A sippy cup of tomato juice. Oliver and I were at Dave’s mom’s house yesterday afternoon and the V8 cockatil she tried on him went over like a lead cloud.
Two “pretend salads”, which is what Julia calls a baggie of dried cereal. There’s Cheerios and some other cereal that Julia and Oliver call "pillows" in one bag and Raisin Bran in another.
A granola bar wrapper.
Garlic, because you never know when you'll need to ward off a vampire. And like, garlic is the new black, yo. Okay, seriously, this weekend while we were visiting my aunt and uncle KID-FREE my aunt showed us her garden, which was less garden and more masterpiece. After I'd finished gushing over it she handed me a basket and told me to go to town and even though she didn’t have much garlic to spare she saw me coveting the cloves and reluctantly handed some over, which I immediately threw into my purse so nobody else would snatch it. (And, by the way, we had a fantastic time…the weather was great and so was the food and the music and the family and the beer and wine that flowed freely and the fact that the kids that were there weren’t mine and required little to no assistance from me whatsoever. Much later on in the evening we all sat in the orchard with our beers and watched a meteor shower. It was like something out of a movie, us all together, kicking back, watching shooting stars and talking while my brother softly strummed my dad’s guitar and I pointed out all sorts of stars that I thought were shooting across the sky but, in actuality, were merely my own drunken hallucinations. Good times, y’all. Good times!)
Two kits for obtaining stool samples. Remember when I mentioned Oliver and the dirt-eating? A few of you piped up about dirt-eating being a sign of iron deficiency, which I didn’t know about at all and mentioned to my family doctor at Oliver’s last checkup. We were quickly referred to a paediatrician last week and it turns out he is in fact iron deficient, so now I have the fun task of collecting poop for analysis to look forward to. Ah, the perks of motherhood.
Lip balm, for the odd time that my lips get really chapped – usually when it’s cold out or when I’ve eaten something very salty.
Two key chains I didn’t know I had until I decided to start photographing the contents of my purse.
A fortune cookie from this plastic, not-so fantastic Chinese buffet Dave dragged us to last week that left me feeling like I’d eaten a fucking brick for dinner.
What’s in your purse?
44 Comments, Comment or Ping
The garlic! I love it.
August 14th, 2007
I love when the “what’s in your purse” posts come around. I like the small snapshot of what someone else’s life looks like. I’ve never participated though, so maybe I’ll have to this time.
Now that I think about it a little, I have so much crap in my purse it’s ridiculous. I’ll take a picture and post on my site tomorrow.
August 14th, 2007
Wallet. Also huge. *shrug*
Barnes & Noble giftcard I received over the weekend.
Baggie of Teddy Grahams.
Baggie of baby wipes.
14 packets of Splenda, pilfered from Starbucks.
Phone.
Handful of wadded-up receipts.
Handful of wadded-up coupons.
Random crumbs.
Matchbox car.
Polly Pocket bike helmet.
August 14th, 2007
Cute bag! Hee hee – I’m not sure I can beat what you have in your bag… altho my “purse” is actually a piece of carry on luggage. :)
I had the same wallet issue re: checks, too. I solved it by getting a smaller wallet and a separate checkbook cover, which has been GREAT. Maybe something like this? (That’s where I got my checkbook cover.) Or this? Or this?
August 14th, 2007
Wow your whole family has some pretty fascinating ideas on salads! I love your bag. If it winked at me I would be all over it.
August 14th, 2007
I’m glad you had a great weekend and dude, you have a total George Costanza wallet.
August 14th, 2007
look at that cute bag. and that cute wallet. you keep it because it’s adorable, don’t you?
am still waiting for the weekend update, dude.
August 14th, 2007
I don’t think there’s anything in my purse except expired coupons and old lists. At least, that’s all I seem to be able to find in there.
August 14th, 2007
Oh, I remember the days when a diaper was always in my purse. EVEN though I also had a diaper bag (which always carried a change of clothes, diapers, baby wipes, a traveling soap box which perfectly fit a bottle of baby Tylenol and a bottle of Tummy Time anti gas drops, which vanquished a tummy ache in the blink of an eye, a bottle of formula and a bottle of water, a paci, a toy or two, baby food and baby spoons, a bib, and a blanket. And that bag was no bigger than yours.)
Now I carry baby wipes, even though she’s 8, just because they’re so damn handy. No diapers, but I do carry an extra pair of panties in a ziploc bag, JUST IN CASE. (They actually did come in handy last summer, when she and her cousin had an unscripted water fight and so she traveled home in said dry panties and a borrowed t-shirt from her aunt, large enough to be dress length.) And my bag also has a paperback in it, always, a small Bible, a small notebook and pen, and my wallet. And a cosmetic bag, plus a Mary Kay compact which holds three eyeshadows, a blush and a lipstick and is faster to grab than anything if I desperately need a touchup. And a small bottle of my scent, which is called “Skin.” A pillbox with various things in it, and a small vial of Gaviscon. A small bottle of lemon juice, for adding to drinks when we are out, because I think diet soda tastes better that way. A brush and a comb. Gum, and usually a ziploc bag with a snack of some sort for Betsy. Crayons, because there are never enough colors to please her when she’s given crayons at a restaurant (sometimes it’s colored pencils or markers, instead.) A small kit that holds nail clippers, file, tweezers, all the little things that do come in handy more often than I’d have thought before I bought it. Tissues. Keys. A Kashi bar for when my blood sugar bottoms out.
YOUR bag sounds much more interesting.
August 14th, 2007
hey, where’s the report on your wild weekend?
i’m a celebrity gossip junkie too. perezhilton.com and socialitelife.com are gossip porn for me. what are yours?
August 14th, 2007
I just emptied out my bag since I don’t need diapers/pull ups any more…What a load off my back…literally.
I should revise my earlier post about my bag.
August 14th, 2007
I LOVE your bag.
“Pretend salads.” Heh.
August 14th, 2007
you had me at the garlic. i’m DYING of laughter from this!!!
August 14th, 2007
Will you think less of me if I admit that I love celebrity gossip too? I never used to have a thing for purses, because I always carried a diaper bag and put my wallett in it. I haven’t had a diaper bag for about six years now, and I’m definitely beginning to get the purse thing.
August 14th, 2007
looks like great minds think alike today, i saw this over at Her Bad Mother’s and today at Mothergoosemouse so decided to do it myself LOL.
LOVE your bag!! And i keep forgetting to tell you i’m addicted to those “pillows” now. And dammit if the only place i can find them is wal-mart
August 14th, 2007
Great bag. Mine has:
Lipstick,
A wallet: Fat from the 5,271 receipts I have meant to clean out, but haven’t.
One power bar wrapper – chocolate.
One earring – hoping to come across the other again someday.
A tampon.
A note from my mother.
A post hand drawn anniversary card from my daughters, and three dried and now petal challenged sweet peas that they picked for the occasion.
A receipt for two text books totaling $201.58 with a little splotch of blood on the edge where I dabbed my head after I passed out in the college book store.
August 14th, 2007
Dude, you are so hip, I didn’t even know that Garlic was the new black, thank god I have some in my crisper! I will immediately put it in my purse.
My purse contains the following items:
My big mo-fo wallet that has every card I could ever keep in it and receipts that date back to Jaunary.
A wedding registry print-out that I will now throw away.
A Canadian Tire Gift Card with a balance of $5.00 and 20 cents in
CT money.
Directions to my friends house.
Gift Certificates for American Eagle ( where nothing ever fits me) and a La Senza gift card cause you never know when you will need a new bra.
A barrette for my non-existent hair.
My keys.
A pen
Four tubes of lipstick and lip balm because I am addicted.
Several different types of eye drops because I recently had Lasik.
Gum
Some loose change
And my emergency cold sore cream because you never know when one of those pesky buggers will appear on your face (I hate you herpes virus–you suck).
–I downsized to a smaller purse thinking that would help limit the amount of shit I carry around with me. Obviously it has not worked.
August 14th, 2007
I’m glad you carry a big ass purse. Cuz I’m the girl who only totes her crap in her pockets and is constantly stuffing her crap in her friend’s purse to carry for her.
You’ve got me covered.
It’s official. We were meant to be.
August 14th, 2007
gee and i thought I carried everything in my purse, but definitely no garlic haha
i too am a purse whore, though I usually keep all of mine because i’m a compulsive hoarder and i might want to use it again!! sometimes i do, usually i don’t…
August 14th, 2007
The bag is COOL as well as a slut!
Garlic? Now that’s funny.
I emptied my bag recently – come over and have a peep.
August 14th, 2007
I love your bag and your wallet. Can I have them please?
August 14th, 2007
Cute purse! I’m a huge purse ho! (not a ho for huge purses..but a huge ho for purses..okay..you get the drift!) They vary in size and so help me, not only do they wink, they grab you and say “buy me now b!tch!”
Mine contains a wallet, my date book (geek girl supreme – but I have to keep track of whose weekend it is somehow when they get switched and the blasted kid orthodontist appointments), the checkbook, the 2 pens, the aveda lip gloss (why do they always discontinue the shade you love?), and the little makeup pouch that contains the essentials (rolaids, listerine cool mint strips, the keys to the file cabinet at work, the aigner pill case my mom bought me) and of course mint mojito gum, keys and the cell phone!
August 14th, 2007
the garlic is simply the best and I am so embarrassed that I’ve been missing out on such high fashion!
August 14th, 2007
I am a total purse whore, and that is one CUTE bag. I bet that sassy tart DID wink at you! Will be doing this after I erm, clean out my purse!
August 14th, 2007
This is one of those rare times that there is very little in my purse due to the fact that I just cleaned it out. And that would be because usually my purse is like a carry-all garbage can. When I cleaned mine I remember finding:
a package of Wendy’s honey mustard
75,000 pens ;)
75,001 assorted receipts
1 lip gloss
2 lipsticks
1 lipstick compact
2 key chains
sunglass case
smallish wallet
hand lotion
2 mint tins
several peppermints & lifesavers
1 AA battery
bottles of: aleve, phazyme and acetominphen
travel brochures from a trip
scissors (i know….scary)
and many other things I can’t remember right now. I always win those ‘what’s in your purse games at pampered chef/make-up type parties because I have really weird things.
August 14th, 2007
Awww rats! My comment either went *poof* or I accidentally left a rather long winded comment weird comment at someone else’s place. :)
August 14th, 2007
Great Purse. I am a bit of a purse whore myself so I won’t be calling your sassy little gal there any names. She is very cute and deceivingly small if she can carry all that fun stuff. and garlic.
I am not a chequebook carrying person. I think you are one or the other. If you are a giant wallet is necessary. That is the only reason I don’t carry mine.
There is floss in my purse. Its not like the chequebook would really put me over the edge or anything.
August 14th, 2007
I love that purse. I’m in search for a new bag…one that doesn’t scream “Mama Is Still Wiping Butts.” You know? You know what I’m talking about? ;)
I just cleaned my purse out last week. I usually always have random stuff for the girls…loose pony tail holders, a tiny hair brush, a little ziploc bag of cereal, lots of pens (I end up bringing red ones home from work…oops), my wallet, cell phone, lipstick in a little silver monogrammed lipstick holder from the hubby a few years back, keys, checkbook…nothing too exciting!
August 15th, 2007
DUDE, sistah. Am totally gossip whore AND necklace slut, too.
August 15th, 2007
Garlic in the purse? Oh-kay.
*backing away slowly, because I’m part vampire on my mother’s side*
August 15th, 2007
Oh, how I love you. Not that I didn’t before, but the garlic in the purse really sealed the deal for me.
Let’s see….I’ve got:
Three different packs of tissues, two bags of “Mother’s Milk” tea, a cable bill, dental floss, a sachet of dried lavender, hand sanitizer, a formula check, bobby pins, chewing gum, my own overly-large wallet, a movie ticket stub (for Knocked Up), phone numbers for charter sailboats (WTF?), Band-Aids, a MetroCard, eyeglasses, hand cream, an iPod, enough sanitary napkins to soak up the Red Sea, a whistle, a Kashi bar, two pens, and two lip balms.
August 15th, 2007
I love that purse! Er, bag. And your wallet!
I was just thinking about doing a post like this, now I will have to. I’ll post a pic of the contents of my bag/purse/going out of the house carrying thing in the next day or so. Fun post!
August 15th, 2007
if you have to climb a mountain to kill a vampire, you’re set with the garlic and caribiner keychain
August 15th, 2007
My purse has 100 scraps of paper, tampons, diaper, nuk, mints, gum, two pencils with no lead, wallet, sunglasses, backup sunglasses, kleenex, keys, phone, tape measurer, 8 lipsticks (!), lip gloss, necklace, medical ID bracelet that I took off weeks ago and have yet to put back on (because in case of emergency, you want your medical info to be buried in a completely full purse)
August 15th, 2007
Yes, I’m sorry, I was staring at the photo before I read along, and was like, “Whoa, wait a MINUTE. Is that GARLIC?” And yes, yes it was. Because that’s the way you kick it.
August 16th, 2007
I always have wacky stuff in my purse, and I am going to take a picture and post it on my blog, too… but never, in all the years and endless purses / shoulder bags / diaper bags, have I had a bulb of garlic.
I have a very small purse because I thought it would help me minimize the crap. It didn’t. It just means that it’s packed so tightly now that it’s roughly the density of a brick, and I could knock a mugger unconscious with one swing.
August 16th, 2007
I love it!
I have done the poop collection many times and it is not as bad as I thought it would be. Only for my children though, never ever will I collect poop for anyone else!
I love that you have garlic in your purse. You cracked me up with that!
August 16th, 2007
You mean, nobody smelt you out? Hahaha….hilarious!
August 16th, 2007
Um.
~Period supplies
~a plastic zippered container (previously held pillow cases, I think) holding several little balls of yarn, a pair of teensy folding scissors, a little case of darning needles, a crochet hook, four double-pointed knitting needles, a gauge ruler, and a 5-dollar bill
~very old, dessicated cough drops
~my checkbook, which also currently has my credit cards and driver’s license in it
~loose receipts from grocery store
~old movie tickets, torn
~my keys
~an empty plastic bag that used to contain the pistachios that we snuck into the last movie we went to see
~a comb
~a teensy tin of promotional mint pastilles from my husband’s job
~a pen
~a deck of cards
~a wad of ancient Kleenex tissues, intended as emergency stash for when I’m (predictably) a sap at the movies, but too torn from being pushed and pulled and crunched by the other stuff, and too full of dust and microscopic pistachio remnants to be used
I’m so proud – that’s a LOT less junk than I would have unearthed last year!
August 17th, 2007
Cool purse!
August 17th, 2007
ROFLMAO…
That’s what you have in your purse?! *snortsnort*
God…see, the difference bwtn you and me is that you have little perfect baggies of neatly organized ’stuff’.
I have way too many reciepts (most of which I don’t need or even know what they go TO) and loose change and oodles of lipglosses and chapstick, and make up and toy dinosaurs, a granola bar, cell phone and then my teeny tiny wallet…
And you can be *assured* that if I dumped my purse out, it would NOT look near as cute and organized as your contents. LMAO!
August 18th, 2007
oh dear god. If that’s what’s in your purse, what the hell is in your junk drawer? *wink*
August 18th, 2007
there is absolutely no way in hell I can top this “what’s in your bag” photo-documentary. garlic clove AND poop? My hat off to you, woman.
That pocketbook rocks, btw.
August 20th, 2007
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