I’m a hoser (and I’m in good company)


Ten Things I Love About The Great White North: 

1) The way we sneak u’s in to so many of our words: labour, favourite, colour, cheque. Words look so much better when they’ve been punched with a few u’s.

2) Homo milk.

homo milk resized.jpg

3) Casey and Finnigan.

casey and finnegan.jpg

4) Canadian bacon, maple syrup and Kraft Dinner, not to be confused with Kraft Macaroni & Cheese. It’s KRAFT DINNER, people.

5) The fact that this glorious nation of ours was practically founded on beer, coffee and doughnuts, hockey and mullets, known 'round these parts as "hockey hair".

6) Our national symbol is a beaver. (Heh. I said beaver.)

7) Bob and Doug.

bob and doug resizedr.jpg

8) Currency that looks like Monopoly money means denominations that are easy to decipher when shitfaced. (Don’t forget our fun one and two dollar coins, the loonie and toonie, respectively. It’s hard to feel mature when talking about loonies and toonies in regards to cold hard cash, but not only are we Canucks an apologetic people, we’re adaptable, too.)

9) The endearing way in which we make sentences questions by tacking on an ‘eh?’ at the end: “I love you, eh?” “Fuckin’ A, eh?!” “Babe, I think Oliver just threw up, eh?”

10) Rednecks, of which this country is chock full o’. But my particular favourite Canadian redneck is Redneck Mommy, not just because she’s Canadian or because she’s a Professional Boob Oogler/Grabber. She’s an amazing person with a heart of gold and she's funny as hell, but above and beyond all that smarmy stuff, the girl can write. She’ll have me laughing so hard one minute I’m snorting coffee like its cocaine and weeping the next, and I love her for it.

What I’m trying to say (really, there is a point to all of this, besides the one I've already proven, which is that Canada ROCKS! Eh?) is that I chose this post of hers as my Perfect Post for August, because nobody writes about being a homebody Canuck venturing off to the US of A for the hottest girl blogger convention in the universe better than Redneck Mommy.

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42 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. Oh that Redneck Mommy. She’s…larger than life, that one.

    And seriously: homo milk?

    August 1st, 2007

  2. I absolutely LOVE Bob and Doug McKenzie – I grew up listening to that album. Although, living in Michigan is practically like living in Canada. Our governor is even Canadian! :)

    August 1st, 2007

  3. sam

    *snort* Monopoly money. Seriously? WTF were they thinking wit loonies and toonies. I’m just so glad they haven’t gotten rid of the five dollar bill (yet.)

    I could sip maple syrup with a straw. I love that stuff! But not as much as Redneck Mommy. She’s the shit, yo.

    August 1st, 2007

  4. Allison

    I’m seriously moving to Canada ONLY for the reason that I’ll be able to buy Homo Milk. And it doesn’t even come in a bag. Awesome!

    August 1st, 2007

  5. Really, we here in the USA have to be very grateful for all the creativity that flows southward from your lovely country!

    August 1st, 2007

  6. What I like is that Minnesota shares assorted qualities with Canada, eh?

    August 1st, 2007

  7. I love the “eh’s!” You guys have the best hockey and ice skaters here too! Also, if a guy wants to be an ice-skater there, he most likely would not be sterotyped as “gay.” (At least, I don’t think so). Haha! (Love Kurt Browning)!

    You Canadians rock!

    August 1st, 2007

  8. jen

    Redneck Mommy, you, and Homo Milk. And the Barenaked Ladies?

    She is perfect, isn’t she. Sigh. Well done.

    August 1st, 2007

  9. I just had someone comment on my own blog that she loved how Canadian I sounded in my writing. I’m planning to adopt her. And I will love her and hug her and call her George. There isn’t a better compliment than being called a real Canadian, eh?

    I grew up on Homo Milk, but unfortunately I think the full fatness of it made me grow too much, so we switched a long time ago to 1%. Leaves more room in my diet for Timbits.

    And I love me some Redneck Mommy….she’s a favoUrite!

    August 1st, 2007

  10. Lisa b

    Bob & Doug’s 12 days of christmas is one of my favourite songs ev-ah.

    I would not have thought of homo milk. That’s a good one.

    August 1st, 2007

  11. Ooooo, don’t forget poutine. Or Caesars. Or Timmie’s coffee. All great reasons to live up here. Watching Rick Mercer or 22 Minutes, and getting the jokes. Coach’s Corner. The Littlest Hobo. Bush parties while listening to the Hip and BNL. Why would you want to live anywhere else?

    August 1st, 2007

  12. Thank you for clearing up the Kraft Dinner issue for me, once and for all!

    Another great thing you have….Coffee Crisp candy bars. Love them!

    August 1st, 2007

  13. I loved that post too. And I grew up in the doughnut capital of the world (Hamilton), so I know whereof I speak.

    August 1st, 2007

  14. Having met her there, can I just say she is too fabulous.

    August 1st, 2007

  15. And don’t forget we adopted Canadians…who can now laugh at all the Quebecois jokes in “Bon Cop, Bad Cop”…..

    And I wold totally do Rick Mercer – if he wasn’t gay and all….

    August 1st, 2007

  16. Best. Segue. Ever. So says the editor.
    Anyhoo, I would have to second the ceasar/timbit votes, as well as couches, eavestroughs, saying sorry when someone bumps into you, and RE not ER (as in theatre, centre, etc.) Plus, we have the awesomest rednecks in existence.

    August 1st, 2007

  17. And aside from our regular colourful bills, there’s also good ol’ Canadian Tire money.

    August 1st, 2007

  18. Di

    Bob and Doug ROCK!

    August 1st, 2007

  19. I’m blushing. Such high praise from a hoser like yourself.

    Now I’m going to go grab me a glass of homo milk, flop on my couch and dream of Mr. Dressup.

    Good times.

    Have I mentioned how much I lurve you? And how I’d love to oogle them boobs in person?

    August 1st, 2007

  20. Homo milk. Hysterical.

    It’s like your own personal I Am Canadian ad. I’m partial to the one featuring Joe. Mmmmm. Joe.

    My husband is Canadian and he rocks. And while he doesn’t say eh, his mother more than makes up for it. When we stumbled across a Tim Horton’s down here in New England, I thought my husband was going to wreck the car, he was so excited. He drove 20 miles to the next exit on the highway, just to turn around, drive back and get himself some Timmy’s.

    But you can keep poutine. That stuff looks and tastes like dog sick.

    August 1st, 2007

  21. Thank you for that post, my fam and I just moved to Canada from Minnesota. I was feeling a bit homesick until your post, thanks for making Canada cool.

    August 1st, 2007

  22. pao

    You carry on with spelling things with ‘u’, thats how its spelt in the mother tongue – ignore the yankee bastardisation of the English language.

    Hell that Yanks even have English (US) on software installations as they don’t know what language they speak!

    Seeya at Niagra, eh?

    August 2nd, 2007

  23. EE

    Homo milk….. *snort* Niiiice.

    And you know, bc of you and our friendship, I use ‘eh’ all.the.freaking.time. LOL!

    Gotta love you crazy Canadians. ;)

    August 2nd, 2007

  24. oh, caaaaanada….
    i’ve never heard of homo milk, but i did always have a bit of a facination with the bagged milk.

    August 2nd, 2007

  25. Casey and Finnegan! I used to LOVE them! Most kids shows creeped me out when I was a kid, but I loved them.

    Heh heh, let us not divulge the secrets of President’s Choice either…! ;)

    August 2nd, 2007

  26. Other people don’t call it Kraft Dinner? I never knew.

    August 2nd, 2007

  27. Most excellent list! Another great thing I just recently found out is Canadian: buttertarts!

    Funny, when I was in Maine last month, I was freaked out by all those $1 bills cluttering up my wallet. Every time I dug into my purse I thought I was rich when I pulled out a big wad of bills, only to realize it was only $8.

    August 2nd, 2007

  28. Two 70’s kids get a house and decide to buy a big yellow dog…could there be any other name to choose than Finnegan!!!! Hubby did draw the line when our son came along and I suggested Casey.

    August 2nd, 2007

  29. Now that I’ve ogled her boobs up close, I can shout THREE CHEERS FOR RNM! And dude, you totally said beaver (*snort*giggle*).

    August 2nd, 2007

  30. Homo milk – snort!!

    August 2nd, 2007

  31. ali

    i’ve lived in canada for over 10 years and i still have a good giggle at the homo milk :)

    August 2nd, 2007

  32. Canadians and Homo Milk Rock, eh? ;)

    August 2nd, 2007

  33. Good choice.

    August 2nd, 2007

  34. I happen to think that Canada rocks for those very reasons. And “Homo” milk is reason enough for me to move there and be an ex-pat.

    August 2nd, 2007

  35. I’m so glad someone nominated this post. I was so tempted to award it, myself. And yes there is some homo milk in my fridge right now. I still giggle when I see it.

    August 2nd, 2007

  36. I haven’t seen HOMO milk in such a long time………………..

    August 2nd, 2007

  37. I just LOVE that sneaky u!! Casey and Finnigan are lurking around in my brain somehow. I have some fuzzy memories of them and that tree. I need to see if they were shown here too. Maybe I was Canadian in my other life, ‘eh? ;)

    August 2nd, 2007

  38. Well, I happen to be a big fan of RNM AND Canada. Not just because of the things you mentioned though. I love Canada because of how cool Vancouver is; and because Diana Krall is Canadian.

    August 3rd, 2007

  39. And let’s not forget that Canada gave us the world’s first real alt rocker, Neil Young. (Of course, y’all owe us Neil Young after sending freakin Celine Dion and Anne Murray south of the border.)

    August 3rd, 2007

  40. F**ck off aye.

    I love redneck more.

    now go get me a brewskie.

    August 5th, 2007

  41. I would not have believed the “Homo Milk”, if you had not put a pciture. Holy crap, that is so funny! (Because, yes, i am THAT mature. teeheehee) I would drink it just for the name.

    Thanks for the link to a good post.

    :)

    August 5th, 2007

  42. God — now I’ve gotta go watch Strange Brew. Immediately.

    August 8th, 2007

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