Further proof I am married to the King of Romance:
“Babe, what’s the matter?”
“Nothing, why?”
“You look like you could really use a swift dick in the ass.”
Almost as good as his famous – not to mention classy – ‘You look hot…let me take your temperature with my dick thermometer’ line and his claim that flatulence = love.
46 Comments, Comment or Ping
oh my God……….I almost fell off my chair……..dick thermometer……..I thought I knew my husband’s brother, but apparently he has another brother named Dave in Canada………….
March 5th, 2007
do you know how painful it is when yogurt flies out your nose?
And iffen indeed flatulence = love, I am the luckiest gal in the dutch oven.
March 5th, 2007
I just came from reading Tink’s post about “still flirts with Hoop” to this? Haha! You’re so funny! Dave’s so funny! :)
March 5th, 2007
I’ve always thought my husband had some kind of digestive disorder. Now I know it’s just his gender.
Thank you for allowing me to cross that worry off my list.
March 5th, 2007
He IS the King of Romance! All I get is “C’mon let’s do it.” (Can you feel the love tonight?)
March 5th, 2007
Wow, I’m swooning as I type. I get the dick thermometer line too and the farts? I don’t know how he covered up his rampant gastric problems before we married. Ever need some Italian in ya’? Well that’s what I get all the freakin’ time… men (sheesh).
March 5th, 2007
What a dog.
March 5th, 2007
Rolling on the floor, then stopped dead in my roll and thought… but flatulence DOES equal love. It means I’m COMFORTABLE around you…
March 5th, 2007
wow. you one lucky wo-man.
March 5th, 2007
why is it that the best ones are always taken….
March 5th, 2007
men are so classy :)
March 5th, 2007
LMAO! I just read this after hearing my husband call from the other room “hey, you wanna come give me head or something?” Yea,be right there. Bwaahaahaa!
March 5th, 2007
whew. that’s some SEX-AY. you lucky, lucky girl.
March 5th, 2007
Okay, he’s crude, but that’s why he.cracks.me.up.
March 5th, 2007
Hey, at least he’s willing to make the first move…
March 5th, 2007
AAAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Stop.
Please.
A dick thermometer.
That’s priceless.
I’d have to tell my husband that I’m afraid of the mercury…and the only thermometer I’m using is the one you stick in your ear. lmao.
You’re too funny.
March 5th, 2007
Good God, it seems my husband has a long lost twin out there. You poor, poor woman for having to endure a personality such as that. I know I’d like to give mine a taste of his own medicine sometimes.
March 5th, 2007
Wow…..
That sounds like something my romantic husband might say on occasion.*LOL*
March 5th, 2007
Oh that is hysterical! I bet that got you so hot and bothered that you just let him ravish you right then and there.
Dick thermometer? Well does he tell you what ends up coming out of the “thermometer” needs to be swallowed as its “medicine?”
March 5th, 2007
Ya goofs. ;)
March 5th, 2007
Oh.
My.
God.
Mike and Dave are dopplegangers! Dick thermometer is so something he would say!!
Men.
March 5th, 2007
When something is wrong, there has got to better places for that thing.
March 5th, 2007
Oh
mah
gawd
funny shit.
March 5th, 2007
Must be all men….When I am sick my hubby asks me if I want som “peniscillan”. Whatever!
March 5th, 2007
LOL! Yep, I live with one of those type fellas myself. King of Romance, indeed.
March 5th, 2007
Bwahhaahaaha!
Is it wrong that if I were a guy, I would use the dick thermometer line?
And if flatulence=love…then my whole family loves the hell out of me.
March 5th, 2007
Was there ever any question that farts=love, really?
March 5th, 2007
Gawd, Tulip.
I’m crushing so hard on Dave right now.
Better keep that romance machine away from me….
And if my husband offered me a dick thermometer, I’d have accepted it, but only on the condition that I could chew it…
See who’s laughing now…right?
March 5th, 2007
I think your Dave and my Dave would really get along.
March 5th, 2007
I am totally storing those fabulous lines to use the next time I feel the need to insert a little shock value into my surroundings.
March 5th, 2007
Any man willing to admit he has a swift dick must be laden with self-esteem up the wazoo. Lucky you. Or unlucky you depending on how you see it.
March 5th, 2007
So romantic!!!
March 5th, 2007
i think our husbands are sharing a brain. does yours have it this week? mine’s a little off…
March 6th, 2007
I sent my husband a link to this post and now I’m pretty sure he’s found inspiration in your husband’s comments. I’d place bets that I’ll be hearing these lines many times in the near future. Honestly, what was I thinking?
March 6th, 2007
Ah, I think everyone could use a good swift dick in the ass now and then. Or dildo. Whatever.
March 6th, 2007
Hehe. Very hot. A real Casanova!
March 6th, 2007
LOL.
Thanks for the chuckle!!!!!
March 6th, 2007
Seriously, Dave is on the money with this…when you are relaxed completely what do you do? You crap yourself. I’m not talking a rough massage that undoes kinks in your neck and piddly shit like that (pun intended), I’m talking like loss of motor control kind of relaxed. Dave is showing you how at peace he is with you, ripping a righteous fart speaks the unspeakable words “I love you”.
And the dick in the ass, I mean how much more trusting can you be of another human being than to offer that? Dave’s love breaks down the barriers of what society calls beautiful, moral, and kind. Seriously, do give up dat ass to Dave. He rocks.
March 6th, 2007
You are one lucky woman.
March 6th, 2007
How often have I heard that second line or some variation of it? I should have known when he tackled me and farted *on* me while we were still dating. I think he embarrassed himself with that, though, since he still swears it was an accident.
March 6th, 2007
I shared the bit about “flattulence=love” with my Dave today. He was like, “Where the hell did that come from?”
A blog, honey. A blog.
March 6th, 2007
He is so funny.
Men. They are something else.
♥
March 6th, 2007
Haha! These are great lines. I hope Dave didn’t copyright them, cause I’m stealing them to use on my wife. ;)
March 6th, 2007
Oh my god, laughing so hard here. ‘Swift dick in the ass…’ Love it.
Can I add some of my husband’s classics?
“I bet I can make you come.”
“I’m gonna treat ya like a gas tank, fill ya up.”
“How’s about a blow job?”
March 7th, 2007
I can’t wait to show this to Hoop. He’s going to be mad he didn’t think of it first!
March 7th, 2007
*snort* I will NEVER forget the dick thermometer line…..THAT was classy.
LOL!
March 10th, 2007
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