My children are constantly bickering with one another. Constantly. They tattle on each other no less than a thousand times a day, on topics that range from serious (Moooom! Oliver's shoving fistfulls of vitamins down his throat!), to the ridiculous (Moooom! Julia says I'm YOUNGER THAN HER!), and everything in between (Moooom! Oliver just ate all the cheese from my cheese and crackers! He reached over and grabbed it all!). My beloved children can take a perfectly enjoyable afternoon and turn it in to a right shit-fest in the same amount of time that it takes me to sneeze.
Julia is a highly skilled whiner with the ability to turn on the tears in seconds flat. Some of her material is Emmy-worthy, I swear to god. I see theatre in her future.
Her brother has perfected the art of tantrum-throwing, and screeching in decibels that attract stray dogs. He is sneaky and calculated, and seems to thrive on finding new ways to test my patience. I see jail time in his future.
I joke about it, yeah, but sometimes I get worried about my kids and the way they bicker and pick on one another and act the way they do. Sometimes I look at them thrashing around on the couch whacking one another and I'm like, whose fuckin' kids are THESE?! I have moments where I seriously question whether or not I am raising two little hellions while simultaneously failing miserably as a parent.
Then there are the moments where you know without a shadow of a doubt that you're doing a good job, raising good kids with good hearts – like this past weekend when I overheard Julia (who was brushing her hair while singing Justin Bieber songs to herself in the bathroom mirror, her new favourite pastime) sigh contentedly to herself and say, "I love my life so far."
I happened to be in the shower when I heard her say that. I leaned against the wall, the wet tile cool on my forehead. As my chest swelled with pride, tears dripped from my cheeks and swirled down the drain.
She loves her life. I'm doing something right.
It's moments like those that keep me going.
22 Comments, Comment or Ping
I hate to be the voice of reason here but…
She said she loved her life WHILE SINGING JUSTIN BIEBER SONGS.
I mean, do I need to say any more?
(Also: welcome back. I’m glad you posted again.)
July 20th, 2010
Awwwww…. :)
July 20th, 2010
It’s those small moments, isn’t it? I just wish there more of them. Though I could do without the Justin Bieber.
(I’m glad you’re back, too.)
July 20th, 2010
That is so sweet! I think that some kids just don’t get along and if they weren’t family members, then they wouldn’t have been friends. I think that it is more likely for siblings to not get along than for them to get along.
July 20th, 2010
Good grief, I have tears in my eyes now too! WTH!? I must be hormonal.
All the same. That? Is awesome.
July 20th, 2010
I never had siblings… I have a feeling that sibling bickering will take a definitely toll on me…
July 20th, 2010
this totally made me all teary!
July 21st, 2010
My almost 2 year old makes me feel like that without siblings and baby no 2 is due in less than 6 weeks, i’m praying ill get moments like that to keep me sane in the future and reading this has given me a lil bit of hope!
Pol x
July 21st, 2010
my kids fight constantly, i’ve sort of developped a sense of humour about it, and so have they. they giggle now when i point out that they are fighting over a single marble. at the end of the day, they kiss each other goodnight and have each other’s back.
the fighting can be goddamn annoying though, can’t it?
July 21st, 2010
That is awesome.
My kids rarely bicker like that and when they do, I’m like “Stop acting like those TV sitcom kids and be normal!”
July 21st, 2010
Oh, I’m so there with you…the good and the bad. Parenthood is the ultimate test of confidence and (I think) it’s normal to doubt yourself. If you didn’t love your kids you wouldn’t feel this way – and love is what they need most. Hang in there:)
July 21st, 2010
My oldest 2 kids (boy & girl) used to fight so badly, I truly thought they hated each other and once they moved away would never speak to one another again, if they didn’t kill each other first. Seriously.
Now they are 14 and 17, and miracle of all miracles, they get along.
It’s not like they’re inseperable best buds, but they have actual conversations and laugh together. It’s almost scary.
I love what Julia said….so sweet.
July 21st, 2010
MamaT? You are a thousand times correct. If you can raise kids who love being alive and love the life they have, you’re doing EVERYTHING right.
July 21st, 2010
Sibling fights prepare them for life’s crap – learning how to vocalize anger and frustration, but in a safe place and with unconditional love. I think it’s part of the big socialization picture. At the same time they are making childhood memories that will hold them together throughout tough adult times.
It’s all good.
And thanks for writing again. Truly.
July 21st, 2010
Love this post. Love.
July 21st, 2010
I am in the thick of sibling rivalry right now…and my husband has been out of town for almost a week! They are only 2 & 4. I envisioned all the fun they would have together (and they do…sometimes) and how they would be best buds. Pfffft! However, they have thier sweet moments when they say please, thank you and your welcome to each other or help each other with some menial task. Just a few days ago, I let them lay on a pallet in the floor for naptime. My 2 year-old fell asleep pretty quickly and my 4 year old reached over and rubbed her back for a very brief moment…she didn’t know that I was watching and I think I will keep it that way…
July 22nd, 2010
Yes, it’s definitely moments like those that make parenthood feel less overwhelming. And yes, you are doing the right things!
July 26th, 2010
Oh beautiful. I love those moments, brief though they may be.
July 27th, 2010
Little moments like that are awesome. Good job mama. Good job.
(Also condolences on Justin Bieber…GAH. We have somehow avoided that although the girls love all the other crapola!)
August 1st, 2010
**Moooom! Julia says I’m YOUNGER THAN HER!**
I’ve soooooooo been there with my kids and daycare kids. The best ever was hearing one of the daycare kids scream, “Bron! Tell Abby to quit licking my aura!!!!” I collapsed onto the couch and cried because I was laughing so hard.
But age and auras aside, you’re doing a great job with your kids. The fact that Julia is self aware enough to realize that she has a life worth loving is huge. I promise the constant fighting will wane eventually.
So sorry about JBiebs, though. :)
August 2nd, 2010
Yes. Moment by moment.
:)
August 4th, 2010
:) love.
September 8th, 2010
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